Back To Square One
by JugBug24
Summary: Elizabeth Cooper is a successful journalist for a well known paper in New York, but when she sees a book by someone back home, she's reminded of the boy that had broken her heart all those years ago. Will seeing him confirm what she's lost, or will she fall in love all over again?
1. chapter 1

Rushing out of Starbucks, I weaved in and out of the crowd on the street. I was late, I hated being late. I made my way down past the parking garage, past the blue glass office building, and was stopped dead in my tracks when I made it halfway past the book store on the corner. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a book that looked all too familiar. Its cover showed Sweetwater River with a small green boat upside down on the shore, and a single white glove next to the oar. I stopped and stared at the cover for a moment before rushing inside and grabbing it from the shelf. Realizing I didn't have time to stand there in shock, I quickly paid for the book and made a mad dash for my office that was just a few more doors away. I rushed out of the elevator and sat down at my desk just as my phone started ringing.

"Elizabeth Cooper." I said slightly out of breath. "Yes, sir. I'll have the piece ready for you before lunch…Yes. Thanks." Hanging up the phone I grabbed the book from my bag and took a longer moment to look at it. The title was foiled across the front in silver and a very familiar name was also foiled across the bottom.  
"The Death by Sweetwater River…by JFP Jones." I whispered to myself. "He really did it."

I flipped the book open and there he was, his crown beanie was gone, but it was him. I quickly read through the biography and sat back in my chair and started remembering my old life back home. I couldn't believe it had been ten years since the murder. I couldn't believe it'd been eight years since I'd had my heart broken so badly that I still hadn't recovered. After our break-up, I had thrown myself into school, when that was done I threw myself into my career and I hadn't really stopped since. Come to think of it, I hadn't even seen Polly and the twins in a few years either. I hadn't gone home for Christmas in three years, and almost five for Thanksgiving. I wasn't sure I was making the right decision, but something about seeing his name in print for the first time tugged at my heart. I picked up the phone and called the extension to my assistant.

"Hey, Margot, can you book a flight for me?" I asked quickly, I was being impulsive. I hated being impulsive, it never led to anything good.

"Sure, Ms. Cooper!" She said brightly, I wasn't sure how she was always in such a good mood. "Where to?"

"Riverdale." I said hanging up the phone and turning my chair around to see out the large windows behind me.

I looked around the empty airport and made my way out to the rental lot. I had been very close to not boarding the plane a short time ago, my mind had been wracked with second thoughts. What if he had a family now? What if I knock on his door and he doesn't recognize me? What if my parents are so starved to finally see me that they don't even let me leave the house?

 _No, you can't think that way. You're not going to just drive to his house and randomly knock on the door._

I shook the thought from my head and started the car. I hadn't called my parents to let them know I was coming, but I figured in a town like this there couldn't be that much going on. When I hit the winding road that led to my parent's house a strong sense of familiarity hit me like a punch in the face. All the times he had walked me home along that sidewalk, all of the stolen kisses on a ladder outside my bedroom window, and the night on my parents front porch when he broke things off. I slowly passed the Andrews' home and saw Archie sitting on the porch swing with a guitar and a small child playing down in the front yard. I parked the car at the street between the two houses and slowly stepped outside. The air even smelled the same, there was still a heavy feeling in the air that had been there that night.

"Betty?" Archie said squinting at me. "is that you?" He said setting his guitar off to the side and stepping slowly down the stairs.

"Wow, no one has called me that in years!" I said as I felt a panic attack coming on. I had stopped going by that name after the break-up. It was too much to hear people always calling me by a name that he'd used.

"Oh my god, you have a kid." I said before covering my mouth in embarrassment. He cracked up laughing at the look on my face.

"Freddie!" Archie called to the child. He tottered over and held his hands up to Archie, wanting to be picked up. He swooped down and put the child on his hip and pointed to me.

"Betty, this is Frederick. Freddie this is Betty." I smiled at the name, he'd used his father's name. The little red haired boy smiled and hid his face in Archie's neck as I shook his tiny little hand.

"Nice to meet you!" I laughed.

"BETTY COOPER?" I hear a familiar voice call from the house behind us. There was Veronica, gorgeous as always. The same shoulder length black hair, the same perfectly wavy curl, and the same set of pearls around her neck.

"Hey, V!" I said in complete shock. The two had dated in high school, but it had never really been a serious relationship. "Wait, are you two…?"

"Married two years next month." Archie said smiling and putting his free arm around Veronica. "We sent you an invite, remember?" Archie said trying to jog my memory. That was when I realized that they had. I'd put it in my desk drawer with every intention of sending a response, but never got around to it.

"Oh! Right! I'm so sorry I couldn't make it." I said shyly. That was when I heard my name called loudly from next door. My mother had spotted me. Archie and Veronica and their cute little kid had distracted me from preparing to see my own parents.

"I better go, I think my mother is having an aneurysm." I said backing away and trying to confidently step across the lawn. "Hi mom." I said as I made it to the front door with my bags.

"What are you doing here? Are you ok? Are you dying? Did you get fired?" She asked all at once.

"No, mom. I just felt like it was time to make a visit home." I smiled, I wasn't entirely lying to her. I didn't have to tell her that the book was what prompted me to return.

"Well, you're just in time! Your dad's just finishing up a meeting in his office, and I've already got dinner started!" She said excitedly pulling me inside. The house smelled like home, as it should. There was a smell of dinner being made and a sense of belonging that I'd so desperately lacked. I excused myself from my mother and took my bags upstairs to my old room. The posters were still hung at the head of the bed and the same comforter and sheets were on it. The same lacy curtains hung over the windows and there was the familiar crown beanie. Hanging on the post of the bed. I didn't remember leaving it there when I left. Though when I did leave that day everything happened so fast. I sat down for a moment on the edge of my bed and closed my eyes. I was trying to ignore the tsunami of emotions that was going on in my head right now. I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and made my way back downstairs.

Just as I reached the bottom step my father came from his office. My heart stopped in my chest when I saw him standing next to my father. They were shaking hands, he still had the shy boyish smile that lit up his face.

"Hal! Look who finally came to visit!" My mother said as she came back into the room. She put one hand on each of my shoulders and pulled me closer to my father…and him. He had the same long dark eyelashes, the same steel blue eyes, the same dark unruly hair that stuck up all over, the same cologne he used to wear back when things were good.

"Betty!" My father said smiling and pulling me into a hug. Neither of them knew why we had broken up, they didn't know the reason I avoided coming back was because of the primal fear of a moment like this happening. He was avoiding eye contact me, and I was avoiding eye contact with him.

"What brings you home, Betty?" My dad asked quizzically.

"Just needed a break." I said quietly. I should have stayed in New York. _What am I doing here? Why am I exposing myself to rehashing the most painful memories of my life? You shouldn't have done this, you could have just ignored the book in the book store. Why didn't I just ignore the book in the book store?_

"I'm sure you remember, Jughead?" My dad said. Just hearing his name was a knife to my heart.

"Jughead." I said quietly, nodding my head in his direction. I was desperately hoping that he couldn't see through the calm exterior I was trying to portray. I was hoping he couldn't see me crumbling on the inside.

"Hey, Betts…" He said. He didn't even think twice before using my nickname…his nickname. The one that he would call me. I couldn't do this. I'd make a mistake. I could feel the tears coming and I didn't want him to see me cry.

"I need some fresh air." I said quickly before walking quickly out the front door and halfway down the stairs to the front yard. I stopped in my tracks and tried not to let the tears fall, but they did. I heard the door open behind me, but I couldn't move. I should have prepared better for this. I should have taken a few days to plan this. Why did I let myself be so damn impulsive?

"Betts?" He asked putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't call me that." I said shortly, turning around and looking at him. "Don't do that to me."

"What are you doing here?" He asked shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I can't do this, Jug." I said stepping away from him slightly.

"Betty, it's been eight years since I've seen you…I'm just-"

"Just what? Trying to pretend that we're just old friends that haven't seen each other in a while? I'm supposed to pretend that you didn't hurt me so badly I've never recovered? It happened two feet behind you, Jughead!" I said pointing.

"I'm sorry." He said looking me in the eyes. "I made a horrible mistake, I was young, I was scared. I didn't know what to do." He said, I could see his eyes start to water.

"And I wasn't?" I said throwing my hands in the air. "I need to just be alone." I said finally before going back inside and up to my room. I had only made it inside the bedroom door before I collapsed against the back of it. The tears had been held back and pent up for the last eight years. I had tried to pick myself up over that time and date other people. I had given them a chance, but every single time all I could ever do was compare them to him. They weren't as funny, they weren't as good looking, they didn't pull my chair out for me at a table. I tried to stop remembering that night but it was coming back, crashing against me like tidal waves.

 _"_ _What exactly are you saying, Juggie?" I asked as I started to realize what was happening._

 _"_ _Maybe this is a sign. Maybe this is some greater power telling us that we just aren't meant to be. We're only seventeen…we're not equipped to handle that." He said crossing his arms and looking down at the ground._

 _"_ _After everything we've been through. After all of that, you're just going to walk away?"_

 _"_ _I'm doing what's best for you, Betts. You don't need to be tied down, stuck in Riverdale forever. You know you didn't want that."_

 _"_ _Maybe I did, Jug!" I yelled. "Maybe I did want to be stuck here, as long as I was with you I could care less where the hell I am!"_

 _"_ _You have a future, Betty! You have things going for you!" He yelled back.  
"I hate you!" I screamed after him. He stopped for a moment, taking in what I'd just said before he continued down the stairs and out of my life._

"No, no, no, no." I whispered to myself trying to stop the heaving sobs. I made my way to the bed and crawled between the sheets. Thankfully, I had exhausted myself so completely that sleep came easily.


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up the next morning, I stayed in bed. Despite how last night had gone, being able to just stay in bed, where it's warm and safe was all I wanted to do. If I stayed here I could avoid another run-in with Jug. I pulled the blankets up under my chin and curled into a ball. I could just block the world out and forget about last night. It had felt like he was breaking my heart all over again.

"Honey?" I heard my mom knock on the door as she carefully opened it.

"Yeah?" I asked sitting up in bed and looking at her.

"I should have told you he was here, honey. I'm so sorry." She said quietly. My mom had settled down in the years since I left town. She no longer felt the need to keep up her high school mean girl act, maybe it was because Polly and I were both doing really well in our respective lives. Who knows.

"It's ok, mom" I said, it honestly wasn't her fault. I had never let my parents know how bad the break-up was. I had never let them know why we broke up, and I hadn't spoken to them about it since.

"I'm not trying to pry, but why did you just show up out of the blue?" She asked putting a hand on my knee. I debated for a moment wondering if I should tell her the truth or come up with something else.

"I saw Jughead's book…in a bookstore near my office. It was so impulsive. I had my assistant book me a flight. I don't know what I was thinking would happen." I said putting my head in my hands and feeling stupid. "It just dug up all of these feelings that I've been trying to push down for so long. Why was he meeting with dad?" I asked, suddenly realizing that was why he'd been here in the first place.

"We're doing a feature on him for the Register. His book made it to the best seller list!" She said looking proud. When we had been dating my parents hadn't liked him at first. They didn't think he was good enough for me, but that didn't last long. Jughead just being Jughead made his way into their hearts. By the time that we'd graduated high school he was a member of the family.

"Are you ever going to tell me exactly what happened with you two? You both seemed so right for each other. Poor guy, I think he's still not over you. He's a bit of a recluse nowadays. He'll come over and help me with a few things here and there. He cleaned out the gutters last week, your father's back just doesn't allow him to get up there like he used to." She rambled. "Anyway, are you hungry? I made pancakes." She added smiling at me.

"Sure mom, I'll be right down." I started feeling awful for being so quick to judge him yesterday. Maybe I should have let him say what he needed to.

After breakfast, I spent a few hours pacing in my old bedroom. I debated with myself on what I should do. I finally decided that I would go to his house, congratulate him on the book and get back to New York by tomorrow. Then I could get back my life and actually start living it again. I grabbed the crown beanie from the bed post and went to shove it in my purse to bring with me. The small wool cap felt soft in my hands. Just picking it up made me realize it still smelled like his shampoo. I quickly shook the thoughts from my mind and went back downstairs. I managed to get to the car without my mom stopping me and asking me where I was going. Suddenly, it occurred to me that just showing up at his house might be a little weird. I grabbed my phone and brought up his contact in my phone. He'd probably changed numbers over the years, but it was worth a try.

"Jones." He said answering the phone. It startled me, I hadn't expected his number to be the same.

"Jughead?" I asked confused.

"Betty?" He said just as confused.

"Uh.." I blanked, I cursed myself for sounding so stupid. "I was wondering if we could meet at Pop's…if you weren't busy…" He was going to say no, I could feel it.

"Sure. Now?"

"Is that ok?" I asked

"Sure, see ya." He said as he hung up. _You can do this, Betty. You can do this. You need to do this._

I pulled up outside of Pop's about ten minutes later. The diner hadn't changed really, the paint outside was a bit more worn but the bright red sign still stood tall overhead.

I slowly opened the door and was hit with one of my favorite smells. The classic mix of burgers and ice cream. I looked around and chose a booth towards the back where we could talk. All that was left to do was wait for him, but I didn't wait long. I hadn't even ordered yet when the bell over the door rang. He still had the same suspenders hanging from his jeans and the same black jean jacket. He looked around and spotted me, he waved to Pop and made his way to the booth. With every single step that he took my heart started to be even faster.

"Hey, Betty." He said sitting down with a small smile on his face, "I thought you would've left town already."

"I have a flight tomorrow morning." I lied, theoretically I had a flight, I just hadn't booked it yet.

"Ahh." He said nodding his head slowly. This was getting more and more awkward by the moment. "So, what made you come back?" He asked crossing his arms with his elbows on the table.

"Your book." I said quietly, "I saw your book in a store near my office." I said looking down at my hands.

"I told you I'd get it published someday." He laughed, "It just took me a while." I laughed with him for a minute.

"Oh, I found this in my room." I said taking the beanie out of my purse.

"I know. I left it there." He said taking it from me. I furrowed my brow and looked at him confused.

"You did?" I asked.

"Back when you first left. I thought that if I left it there you'd have a reason to come and see me. So, I could apologize." He said fidgeting with the buttons on the front of the worn cap. "You just never came back."

Pop came over and brought two cheeseburgers and two shakes, setting them down in front of us. I opened my mouth to say something but Pop beat me to it.

"On the house. It's good to see you, Betty." He smiled wide and left again. I pulled the strawberry shake closer to me and took a sip before speaking again. I couldn't turn down a fresh strawberry shake, especially if Pop made it.

"Apologize for what?" I said momentarily forgetting what exactly we were talking about.

"How I acted." He said putting his burger back on his plate, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"I told you I hated you. If anyone should be apologizing it's me." I said. The longer we talked the less I wanted to leave, I had to keep myself from being blinded by him. He'd broken my heart before, he could do it again. He looked out the window at the end of our table and his face changed from being cordial to pained.

"Do you ever think about it?" He asked keeping his gaze outside the window.

"I can't." I said watching him. "If I do…" I stopped.

"Me either." He said looking back down at his burger. I could tell he'd lost his appetite.

"It wasn't your fault, Juggie." I said putting a hand on his. A small smile came across his face.

"Ha, no one ever calls me that anymore." He said looking up at me.

"Oh." I said, I didn't want to offend him.

"No, it's ok. I've missed it." He said putting his other hand on top of mine. We sat there for a moment among two half eaten cheeseburgers and two empty milkshakes. We sat there and stared at each other for a few minutes, before my head caught up with my heart.

"I keep wishing that I can just forget about it all…" I started, "…but you broke my heart, Jug. You promised me all those years that you wouldn't, but you did…" I said my voice cracking, another wave of guilt washed over me.

"I know." He said pulling his hands away. I pulled my hands up into my sleeves and tried not to let him see me cry again.

"I can't do this." I said getting up from the booth and throwing my bag over my shoulder. I made it to the car before I broke down completely. I didn't know where to go, I didn't know what to do. Why did he have to be so apologetic and caring and honest? Why couldn't he just be a typical guy and help me keep shoving all this stuff down. It'd worked for the last eight years and all of a sudden, I couldn't do it anymore. I took one last look at him sitting in the booth before I drove away, he had his head in his hands and Pop was clearing the table. I drove around Riverdale for a couple of hours before finally making it home as the sun was setting. I quietly opened the front door and snuck up to my room before either of my parents could register I was back.

I didn't even bother changing as I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. I laid there staring at the wall until I saw a light go on across the yard. I sat up and carefully walked over to the window. I kept to the side to make sure I wasn't seen. Veronica carried Freddie to his small bed against the window and Archie followed. The way they stood at the side of his bed smiling made me think of a family from the fifties, like they were stuck in time. They both kissed him goodnight and turned on a nightlight before leaving the room. I sunk down against the wall and put my hands to my face.

 _"Jug, we need to talk." I said, sitting down on my bed._

 _"Well, that depends on what we're talking about. After school, I don't really have the capacity for serious conversation." He joked._

I shook the memory from my head and tried to concentrate on an empty room.

 _"When did you find out?" He asked putting an arm around my shoulders._

 _"Yesterday…my parents are going to be so upset." I said leaning against him._

"Stop it, Betty." I said to myself, focus on a stupid empty room. You paid for all of those meditation classes, use them!

 _"We'll figure it out, Betts." He said wrapping his arms around me, "Everything is going to be, ok."_

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them. Just as I was finally getting the memories to subside, my phone started ringing. I picked it up from the foot of the bed and saw the familiar number on the caller ID.

"Hey, B! I know it's a little late, but I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a cup of coffee? Archie went out with friends and Freddie is asleep. I was wondering if you'd want to catch up with an old friend?"

I thought for a moment before responding. At first, I didn't think I was in any shape to leave the house, but maybe talking to Veronica would help improve my mood.

"Yeah, I'll be right over." I said sniffing and hanging up.

Twenty minutes later, I sat around the old Andrew's dinner table and Veronica had just finished catching me up on her life for the last eight years. I felt guilty that I hadn't kept in touch.

"So, what brought you back so suddenly? You've been gone for so long, I'd thought you'd forgotten about us." She asked. I stared down at my tea and wasn't sure what reason I should be telling her. The one I had made up or the truth.

"I'm not sure anymore to be honest."

"What do you mean?" I'd forgotten how she didn't mind being point blank.

"I saw Jughead's book…in a store, I bought it…went back to my office…and now I'm here."

"Ahh…" she said as things clicked in her head, "I always hoped that the two of you would work things out. It was always so obvious to me that you were soulmates."

I sniffed loudly as the tears came up once again.

"I am so tired of crying today!" I said frustrated. Veronica started rubbing my back as she scooted her chair closer.

"Betty, is he the reason you cut yourself off from everyone? Did he do something to you?" She asked concerned.

"It wasn't like that, V." I sighed, "We just couldn't deal with life and it broke us apart. I've told myself every single day since then that I don't need him, and that I had to move on. I thought I could handle coming back here, I thought that time had healed the wounds, you know?"

"Instead it just ripped them all back open again." She finished. I nodded my head and wiped my eyes. "Must have been some pretty heavy stuff you keep you away for this long." I took a deep breath, Jughead had been the only soul in all of Riverdale who had known.

"V…I was pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

Veronica stood there in a stunned silence. I know it was a surprise to her. The so often perceived "perfect" Betty Cooper was never thought to be the one who would end up pregnant, exactly like her sister. Veronica leaned forward in her chair and hugged me.

"Oh, Betty." she asked. "You could have told me…"

"I never told anyone, not even Polly knew. Especially after how my parents handled Polly's pregnancy."

The weight of finally feeling like I could just say it out loud had been lifted from my shoulders. The secret that I'd been keeping inside, locked away, had finally been brought to light. I looked at her face, I couldn't tell if it was disappointment or shock on her face.

"How did Jughead react when you told him?"

"Jug did everything right." I said remembering. "When I told him, he hugged me and told me we would figure it out. He went to the first ultrasound with me and everything. Then one night when I was about ten weeks, I woke up bleeding. I got up, changed, washed the sheets, cleaned myself up, and tried to pretend nothing happened."

I took a deep breath, because the next part was even harder to say.

"I didn't get out of bed for two days. I convinced my mom that I had the flu, and she kept me home from school. Jug tried to come see me, but I couldn't face him. I felt like I'd let him down. Just a few hours before I'd had this little life, that was half him in my stomach. Then, just like that, it was gone. When I finally saw him again, I told him about the miscarriage. He was relieved, V, he took a deep breath and _smiled._ He _smiled._ Something in me just flipped and I started screaming at him. I kept asking him how losing our child could make him happy. He said that I should be too, that this was the universe telling me that I…we…weren't ready for a kid." I shook my head and continued, "So he broke it off. He said that maybe it was also a sign that we just weren't meant to be, and he didn't see a point in us being together. I stood there and pleaded with him. I tried to talk sense into him and make him realize that this didn't have to be the end of our relationship, but he'd already made up his mind. So, I told him I hated him, and he walked away."

"Sounds like he was a scared teenager that thought his whole life was going to change." Veronica said honestly, "It sounds like he was just happy that the two of you could still just be kids."

"I couldn't go back to being a normal teenager after that." I whispered.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" She asked sitting back in her chair.

"Of course." I said looking at her.

"I think you two need to have a serious conversation."

"I tried. I met him at Pop's today and we made it through half a cheeseburger before I had to leave."

"Suck it up, Betty. I can tell you still love him, you need to make sure he knows that." She said standing up and taking my empty cup away. "You need to take a break from that fancy job in New York, and take some time to heal."

"I have a huge deadline coming up next week, I can't just take time off right now."  
"Betty, I'm sure you have the last few years' worth of PTO saved up. Take the time." She scolded. I nodded my head and thought for a moment. What if I could finally put all of this behind me? What if for the first time since I was seventeen I could just live my life like a normal human? I took my phone out of my pocket and started to dial.

"Who the heck are you calling at this hour?" Veronica asked

"My assistant." I said quickly before she answered. "Hey Margot? I'm sorry it's so late…I know. I am going to be here for a bit longer than I thought, would you be able to let Rick know?" She was half asleep, but agreed to let him know in the morning.

I spent a good chunk of the next day pacing in my bedroom. One minute I was going to call him like Veronica suggested. The next minute I was considering just stopping by his house. By the time I dialed his number I was a nervous wreck. I had just spoken with him yesterday, but it ended in me running away…again. I felt like his patience was probably running a little thin.

"You still haven't left town?" he said as he answered.

"Are you saying you want me to?" I countered.

"No, not all. Just surprised." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I know that it didn't go so well yesterday but I just…"

"Need to put it behind you?" He said, his voice changing, it faltered.

"Yeah."

"Come on over, I'm not at the trailer anymore though." He said disappointed, "I'll text you the address."

When I got to the address I saw that he was sitting on the porch, almost like he was waiting for me. I got out of the car and he came halfway down the steps to greet me.

"This house is awesome, Jug!" I said admiring the little blue house behind him. The front door was bright red, and there was stark white trim along the roof and porch. There was a large bay window in front and the same familiar green truck was parked in the driveway.

"Yeah, I guess it works." He said as we headed inside. "What's on your mind?" He asked sitting down on the couch.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I shouldn't have just left like that, Jug." I said looking down at my hands.

"It's ok, Betts." He said looking at me across the coffee table.

"I just feel like we need to actually talk about what happened." He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Betts, when you told me that you'd lost the…" he paused for a moment, trailing off in thought. "I…" he paused again.

I had never really taken the time to think that the situation may have affected him as deeply as it did me. Here was the most talented author in Riverdale, and he was at a loss for words.

"I was terrified when you first told me you were pregnant, Betts. I went home that night and I couldn't even sleep. The day before we'd just been talking about how you got into Harvard and how excited you were. Your parents were so happy, and then all of a sudden it was like a rug got pulled out from under us." He kept his elbows on his knees and stared at his hands. "Just as soon as we were figuring out what to do, you told me what happened and I was happy at first. I was happy that now you didn't have to have that talk with your parents, and you could still go to school, and you could get out of this town and be whoever you wanted to be. It was like I was a weight tied to your ankle and you kept trying to float to the top, but I was holding you down."

"You never held me down, Jug." I said sitting up straighter.

"We were kids. We were terrified." He paused, choosing his words before speaking again.

"I made the biggest mistake of my life walking away from you." He said finally just above a whisper.

"What?" I said shocked by the last words that had just come from his mouth. I moved from across the coffee table to next to him on the couch.

"I beat myself up for _at least_ a year, after you left. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. Archie had to pick me up off the bathroom floor more than a couple of times. It was like I was just a shadow of myself. The thought of never being able to be near you again, killed me." He said wiping a tear from his face. I scooted closer to him and I could smell his cologne. He smelled like home, like one of those comforting familiar places you can always go to when you need it.

"Juggie…" I'd had no idea. He turned his head and looked at me. He sat up slightly and leaned forward. When our lips met it rippled through me like shockwaves. He leaned in farther and I did too. It was like depriving yourself of something for so long and then finally letting yourself have it again. He was like a drug that I'd given up so long ago. He stood up and pulled me with him, by the time we made it down the hall it felt like we'd time traveled back eight years. I couldn't get enough of him and he couldn't get enough of me. Hand tearing and pulling off clothes as we went. Every moment we kissed I could feel myself melting into him.

Everything that happened after that was a blur. I was on a high and never wanted to come down from it. We laid on our sides facing each other. Studying each other's faces as if we'd forgotten what we looked like. The two moles that staggered themselves across his cheeks, and the way his hair always stuck up all over no matter what he did. We didn't need to say anything. In the silence, there was a mutual agreement that we knew our lives would be different from here on out. Neither of us could walk away anymore, neither of us had to try and pretend that we were ok when deep down we weren't. He put a hand up to my cheek and brushed my hair out of my face and started to laugh to himself.

"What?" I said, I was hoping he wasn't laughing at me.

"Nothing. I'm just still pinching myself that you're really here right now." He smiled wider.

"You look like a little kid on Christmas morning." I said smiling back at him and laughing. It felt so good to do that again and mean it. My eyes traveled down to his chest and I saw a small simple crown tattooed on his chest. I ran my thumb over it, swearing I'd seen something similar before.

"When did you get that?" I asked

"A few years ago. I needed a reminder of good times with you…" he whispered, I looked at him confused, "Remember that time you threw me a birthday party and I ended up in a fist fight with Chuck?" He asked

"Ahhh, the birthday from hell. Yep, I remember." Then it hit me, "it's just like that old sweater I used to have."

"Yep. Remember later that night at Pop's when you told me that you hated that everyone called you 'perfect'? You said you had a darkness inside of you that no one could see. It made me realize that night that you and I had a lot more in common that what someone could see on the surface. That was the night I realized I loved you." He finished.

"Juggie…" I said smiling at the tattoo.

"It reminded me every single day after that, that we did have something real…" He thought for a moment and then got up and threw his shirt in my face.

"You hungry?" He asked pulling on his jeans that had been thrown on the floor. "I can make you something."

"Since when do you cook?"

"You should know I'm a man of many talents." He said making his way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, you have layers. I remember." I joked. He opened a bottle of wine and had a glass poured and on the kitchen island before I even sat down. "What'cha making?" I asked as he pulled a couple of pans out and started picking things from the fridge.

"You'll see. Patience is a virtue, Betts." He said as the smell of whatever he was cooking filled the room. By the time he placed the food in front of me I was starving. I gave him a sideways look before fully analyzing the plate. He broke into a laugh when he saw my trepidation.

"I didn't poison it! I swear!" He joked. I picked up the fork and swirled the pasta around it, taking the first bite.

"Geez, Juggie!" I said shoveling another bite into my mouth. "That's the best carbonara I've ever had."

"Veronica made me take a cooking class with her a couple of years ago when Archie backed out. This is the one and only thing I can cook." He said leaning onto the island and smirking. "Actually, you're the only person I've ever cooked it for besides myself."

As I took the last bite he of carbonara, he wrapped both arms around my waist and placed his chin on my shoulder.

"Can I help you?" I asked slowly spinning around on the stool and looking at him and catching what time it was on the microwave behind him. "Oh crap!" I said jumping away and running back towards the bedroom.

"What?" He said confused.

"I told my parents I'd be there for dinner tonight! It's already 5:30."

"So call them and tell them you'll be there tomorrow." He leaned against his dresser and watched me frantically try to find all of my stuff. "Stay with me." He said, using that voice he knows I've never been able to resist.

"Believe me, I don't want to leave. I just don't want them to know about…"

"Me?" he said slightly angered.

"No…US." I said pulling my shirt over my head and tucking it back into my jeans. His face lightened and a he smiled a little at the sound of it.

"Does that mean there is an 'us'?" He asked pulling me closer to him.

"Do you want there to be an us?" I asked back wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Do you?" He replied. I nodded my head slowly as he kissed me goodbye.  
"Maybe." I smiled playfully.


	4. Chapter 4

We spent the next few days tangled up in each other and bed sheets. We watched every classic movie that we watched as kids, and we'd talked about every single thing that had happened in the last eight years.

"So, what exactly are you doing in New York?" he asked as I had my head in his lap.

"I'm an assistant to the assistant editor of the New York Times." I said, after being here with him, the fancy job in New York didn't excite me like it used to.

"You sound like you're not sure about it."

"It's just not what I thought I'd be doing when I graduated college. I thought I'd be writing about things that mattered. Not telling someone else what they wrote doesn't matter." I explained.

"Then why did you take the job?" He asked rubbing the side of my head, playing with my hair.

"Because at the time I thought it was a decent job to just keep me busy. I wanted as little downtime as possible, so I threw myself into it. The farther I worked myself up the ladder, the less free time I had. This is the first time I've missed a single day of work in three years." I said as we heard the doorbell ring.

"It's probably just the mailman dropping off something from my editor. Hang on." He said getting up and walking to the door in his boxers.

"Geez, Jug. Did you actually lock the front door? Since when do you care who comes and goes?" the voice asked.

"Hey, JB, now really isn't a good time." I heard him say.

"Why aren't you dressed? It's almost one o'clock!" She said, her voice getting closer.

"I'm fine. I just needed some privacy to write."  
"Have you been eating? You look a little thin…"

 _Oh no. She can't see me here._ I scrambled out of bed and grabbed the first shirt I could find before she was in the doorway. She suddenly stopped talking when she spotted me. I had grabbed his shirt by mistake and stood there with my jeans half up and my hair was a mess.

"What are you doing here?" She asked angrily.

"Hey, JB." I said quietly as I buttoned my jeans and felt my cheeks flush.

"Don't call me that." She said tersely.

"Hey, don't talk to her that way, Jellybean." Jug interrupted.

"Jughead, can I talk to you for a minute?" She said pulling him by his elbow. He mouthed an apology to me before she had dragged him to the living room. I slowly made my way down the hall and hid myself just around the corner.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jug?!" she said in a hushed whisper.

"Jellybean, I'm an adult. If I want to have her here, in my house, that's my choice." He said sounding bored. It sounded like they've had this conversation before.

"What happens when she leaves again? Am I going to have to babysit you all over again? Am I going to have to pour the beer down the drain, sit beside you on the floor of the bathroom and then stay up all night because I'm scared you might have alcohol poisoning?" I heard Jughead sigh in frustration, "What about the new book you're writing? You have a deadline, Jughead. You don't have time to be sleeping around with Betty Cooper of all people, you could have at least called another one of your bed buddies to come and ease the pain, Jug-"

What does she mean by that? Why does the fact that he's been with other people bother me? Was I really naïve enough to expect that he'd been celibate the last eight years? I felt tears come to eyes at the thought of him sleeping with another girl. Someone I didn't know.  
"SHUT UP." He yelled, his voice echoing through the house. Jellybean didn't seem phased by his yelling at her. She continued speaking again in an even tone, almost sounding bored.

"This is completely unacceptable, Jug." She said. "You don't have room in your life for a girl like that, she's just going to do what she did before. She's back in town for…a week?"

"That's not what's going on. That's not what this is." I heard him say, the seething anger was prevalent in his voice.

"Then what is it? You really think she's going to leave that fancy schmancy job she's got, to stay in _Riverdale_? With you? You've lost it."

"I'm an adult, Jelly. I can make my own decisions. I…-"

My phone started ringing in my pocket and gave me away, the two stopped arguing suddenly and I heard Jughead let out a frustrated sigh. I moved away from the wall and into the living room. I wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping that neither of them saw. "I just needed to grab my stuff." I said quietly grabbing my bag from the chair and moving towards the door.

"Betts…" he said trying to stop me. I sucked it up and turned around trying to pretend I didn't just hear JB's honest thoughts of me.

"I'm fine, Jug. I'll see you later."

"Good riddance." Jellybean said as I turned to leave. That was the last straw, I spun on my heel and faced her.

"Excuse me?" I said trying not to ball my hands into fists.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." She said crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"Do you even know the reason why I had to leave? No? Didn't think so. So, don't go thinking that Jughead was an innocent party. He knows what he did, and I know what I did. I may have been away from Riverdale, I may have been in college, but I failed my entire first semester, and my RA had to find me trying to kill myself in a bathroom. So, don't go thinking that I was having the time of my life, Jellybean. I wasn't partying it up and living the good old' Freshman lifestyle. Don't go thinking that I was ok…at any point." I yelled. I spun back around and walked out to the car. I could hear Jughead yelling at her, and her at him before he came outside and stopped me before I got in.

"Come back inside, Betts. JB's just protective. She's a like one of those police dogs. She does a lot of barking, and she doesn't stop biting until she's given the order. Sometimes she just ignores the order all together."

"What if this was a mistake, Jug? What if we've just been in a dream land the last few days, thinking we can make this work?" I asked.

"We won't know that if we don't give it a chance." He said, I could hear the worry in his voice. I leaned against the outside of the car and wrapped my arms around myself. I looked out at the houses across the street and avoided his gaze.

"Hey…" he said taking my face in his hands and making me look at him. "You didn't tell me about…"

"It doesn't matter." I cut him off. I was still mad at myself for telling anyone about how weak I had been. How I'd given up so badly that I just wanted to end it.

"Yes, it does." He said pulling me into a hug. I put my head against his chest and listened to his heart beat for a moment. "Come back inside. Please?" He whispered in my ear.

"I think I just need some time to think about this, Juggie." I said with my head swimming.

"Ok." He said backing up slowly to let me get into the car. "Don't leave town yet. Don't leave without telling me first, ok?" He was trying to protect himself. He was trying to prepare for the worst, I could tell, it was written all over his face.

"I promise." I said forcing a smile. I watched as relief washed over him. He leaned in the window and kissed me one last time before I drove away.

When I got back to my parent's house, I decided that maybe another chat with Veronica was in order. I needed someone to help me figure out my next move. When I got to the door a familiar red head opened the door.

"Betty!" She squealed, hugging me.

"Oh wow." I said as she hugged me so tightly it was almost hard to breathe. "Hi, Cheryl." I said still confused. She looked exactly as she did the day we graduated high school. The only difference was that her hair was cut to a sleek bob just above her shoulders. She still wore her red lipstick and long red nails, topped off with matching red heels.

"When V told me you were back, I couldn't wait to see you!" She squealed again.

"I'm surprised you're still in Riverdale. I would have thought you'd blow out of here and never look back."

"Are you sure that wasn't you?" She said trying to make a joke. She apparently still had a bit of that old self sticking around.

"Ha, yeah." I said faking a laugh.

"Cheryl, I'll see you next week so we can go over that case, ok?" Veronica said, she could tell I was at my Cheryl limit for the next year.

"I thought you were a social worker?" I asked Veronica.

"I am. Cheryl and I work together." She laughed when I gave her a strange look. "I know. It was weird for me too at first. She's actually surprisingly good with the kids, you'd be surprised."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Can we talk? Do you have time?" I asked hoping that she'd just be able to help me organize myself for a few minutes, like she had the other night. She nodded her head and closed the front door behind her, leaving us on the porch. "Archie said he saw you two earlier. I was hoping it was good news." I rolled my eyes and sat down on the porch swing.

"It was. The last few days have probably been the best of my entire life. Jellybean came over today and she was…not happy to see me there. She wasn't expecting me to be there, and on top of it I was half dressed." I put my face in my hands and shook my head. "I didn't realize how much damage the break up did to _both_ of us. I didn't realize that he drank so much, I didn't realize he was dealing with all the same things that I did. I wish someone had called me and let me know. It's like everyone here watched him fall apart."

"There were a few nights he ended up at the hospital for dehydration because of one too many at the Worm. That's for sure. I actually considered calling you a few times during the first few years, but I figured you needed your time to heal too. You can't blame yourself for that, B. It's just how he dealt with things. He eventually figured things out and now he's doing really well."

"I don't know how this is going to work out. I want to give it a chance, but to do that I'd have to leave my job in New York. Which really wouldn't be a big deal, I don't even like my job." I said looking at Veronica.

"What does your heart tell you to do?" She said sitting down next to me.

"Stay here." I said without even thinking.

"Well, it looks like you're going to have to tell him that." She said pointing to Jughead standing at the curb outside the house. He knew I would come here, granted it was right next door to my own house, but still. He knew. "I'll give you guys some space." She said going back inside as he came up the stairs and sat on the porch wall next to the swing. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before he started speaking.

"I know you heard JB, about what she said about-"

"You don't have to explain, Jug. I understand." I said, trying to tell myself I had no right to be upset about it, I gave up the right to be upset about it the day we broke up.

"You drowned yourself in school and work and I drowned myself in booze and one-night stands. I'm not proud of it." He said shaking his head and looking down that ground. "I've been sober for two and a half years. That's what gave me the push to finally finish the book and get it published. I was turning into my dad. I hated that fact, and it drove me to drink even more." He sighed, "We've done nothing but talk about our lives constantly for the last few days. You told me every single detail, but you never told me you tried to hurt yourself, Betts."

"Because it was so long ago. I got my stomach pumped, I went to counseling for a few months, and I went back to living my life."

"Can I ask you one question?" he ran his fingers through his hair to brush it out of his face.

"What?"

"Why?" I thought hard before I answered him.  
"Why does anyone?" I said. "Because life got too hard and I wanted to give up. There are people who go through sexual abuse, childhood trauma, and horrible unspeakable things where you wouldn't blame someone for trying. When I woke up in the hospital I felt like I'd acted like a spoiled little kid. I felt stupid and embarrassed." I explained.

"Jug, I do everything I can to not think about that night. I stepped into a bathtub, swallowed a bottle of pills two at a time, and then held myself underwater. I can remember the way the room smelled, how dizzy I got, even my RA yelling for help when she found me. I can remember the sounds I heard when I was coming to in the hospital, and I argued with the nurse when she insisted that I should call my parents." I explained. "Since we're being honest, can I ask you a question?"  
"Sure."

"Did they mean anything to you?" I said.

"What?" he asked confused.

"The one-night stands, the girls that JB talked about. Did they mean anything?"

"I was so wasted I don't even really remember them, to be honest. JB made it sound like I had a different girl over every night. It wasn't like that. I went to the bar, got drunk and then woke up in the trailer. It's part of why I sold it and bought the house when I got my advance. Too many bad memories in that thing."

I sat back on the swing and rocked back and forth for a few minutes while I thought about what to say next. I knew he wouldn't be happy about part of what I wanted to say, but I also knew that if I didn't do what I wanted…I'd regret that for the rest of my life too. I already had enough regret for one person.

"I want to give us a second chance, Juggie."

"I honestly wasn't expecting you to say that." He said perking up slightly.

"I've been thinking a lot about it and the truth is…" I paused, choosing my words carefully before I said anything else. "I'm not happy in New York." I paused, "It's turned into this place where I feel like I'm just running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them. I'm thinking of moving back…"

"You can't just quit your job, Betts. I can't let you do that." He looked concerned.

"Yes, I can. I already sent my resignation to by boss." I lied. I needed him to understand how serious I was. "I just have one condition…"

"Anything." He said looking at me through his hair that had again fallen in his eyes.

"I want to talk to JB. I know she's not happy with me, but she needs to understand it was both of us that suffered. You never told her, did you?" I said.

"No. She's formed her own opinions over the years. I'll have her come over, we'll work it out. You guys used to get alone really well when we were kids."

"I have one last request." I said standing up and walking over to him. I stood between his knees and clasped my hands behind his neck.

"I'm gonna need some muscle to get all my stuff here from my apartment. Wanna come help me?" I asked

"Sure, Juliet." He said kissing my nose.


	5. Chapter 5

_Mr. Howard,_

 _I am writing to inform you that this will be my resignation. I've greatly appreciated your time and investment in my career. I've learned a few life lessons during this time that I will take with me into any future endeavors. Please understand that I've been listening to my head the last few years and not following my heart. I hope you understand that I'm not taking anything for granted. Thank you, Mr. Howard, for your time and energy._

 _With regards,_

 _Betty Cooper_

I looked at the screen of my laptop on the kitchen counter. I read it through a few more times and then finally hit send. My heart was pounding a bit, but it quickly calmed itself down when a feeling of relief washed over me. I was free. I had never really thought that unemployment could feel this refreshing.

We had arrived back from New York late yesterday evening, and it felt amazing to close a chapter of my life and finally start to live again. I moved my gaze to the boxes I had stacked up in Jug's living room. I had told my parents that I was going to stay with Veronica and Archie for a few days and help out with Freddie. I sat down on the couch and stared at them for a few moments. We hadn't even really talked about my moving in, it just happened. I was fully prepared to still be living with my parents, at least until we'd both felt rebuilt enough to live together.

"JB should be here any minute." He said coming out of his office and sitting down next to me on the couch.

"I'm so nervous." I said rubbing my sweaty palms off on my jeans.

"I can take a break from my writing if you want. I can sit with you." He said looking at me.

"I appreciate it, Juggie, but I think I should try to do this alone. What are you writing anyway?" I asked trying to distract myself from my nerves.

"Another small-town murder where people never expected something back to happen" He explained as there was a knock on the front door. "You ready?"

"Ready." I said gulping. He walked over to the door and JB walked in. She wore a fitted brown leather jacket over a loose, olive green, chiffon top. She had dark wash jeans partially covered by a pair of black knee-high boots. She'd curled her long dark hair and it fell over shoulders as she sat down on the couch across from me and crossed her legs. It was so strange to see her as a 19-year-old woman, instead of a 5-year-old little kid. She looked exactly like her mother, gorgeous.

"I'll be in my office if you guys need me." Jughead said as he walked away leaving us to our own devices.

I shifted anxiously in my seat as she just stared at me.

"Do you want some water?" I asked trying to be polite.

"If I wanted water, Betty, I'd get it myself." She said not moving. I nodded my head slowly as JB looked around the room.

"JB…" I said trying to get her attention. "I want to apologize for anything I may have done to upset you. I'm trying to make peace. I know you're angry with me, but Jug and I are trying to put everything behind us and move on."

"He was moving on just fine on his own until you came back." She sneered.

"Ok, how many other ways can I put this?" I said sarcastically.

"Maybe explain to me what the hell really happened?" She asked.

"Jug never told you?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

"Not really." She snapped.

"A couple months before we broke up I had found out I was pregnant. Your brother did everything I needed him to and more. He even saved up a little cash and paid for my first ultrasound so I wouldn't have to use my parent's insurance and have them find out." I said not looking away from my hands. Jellybean's entire façade changed when she heard what I said. She leaned forward and put an elbow on her knee.

"So, what happened to the kid?" She asked knitting her brows together.

"I miscarried at ten weeks. Jughead broke it off with me because he thought that was the best thing to do at the time." I replied.

"I thought you broke up with him?" She asked.

"Nope." I shook my head and watched all the information sink in. "He was trying to tell me that I had a life outside of Riverdale waiting for me and staying here with him wasn't part of it."

There were a few moments of silence between us as JB thought it through in her head.

"Even knowing that I'm still mad at you for some reason." She said finally.

"It's ok, JB. I understand that a lot of whatever happened fell on your shoulders."

"There was one night just after I moved back that I can still remember like yesterday. I had been so excited to see him, it had been so long since I'd seen him. When I got to the Worm, it made me nervous that he wasn't just playing pool with the guys. He was sitting at the bar arguing with the bartender. He was trying to tell Jug he'd had enough to drink, but Jug wasn't listening. He wasn't even trying to, but he literally fell over sideways off the bar stool. When he hit the floor, it took him a second to even start moving again. He smelled like three week old beer and stale cigs. It was disgusting." She shuddered at the memory. "I got one of the guys to drive us back to the trailer and help him get inside. When he woke up the next morning he had a beer instead of coffee, his lunch was five shots of Jack, and his dinner was a twelve-pack of bud. If he didn't come home with some skanky chick from the bar, I would be picking him up. If that didn't happen, he was at the ER for dehydration or he was in a cell sobering up." I felt a tear drop from my cheek and hit my hand. I hadn't even realized I was crying. I was so upset with myself for doing that to him. "One night I came to check on him, at first I thought he was just sleeping in bed. I walked over to pull the blanket up over him and realized he wasn't breathing. Later, when we got to the hospital, they said that he had alcohol poisoning and if I had found him any later he would have been dead. He spent four days in the hospital, and I saw that something changed in him. He had horrible withdrawals from the booze but once he got back home, he asked me to throw away all of the alcohol in the fridge and cabinets around the trailer. He started going to meetings and he hasn't had a drop since." She said leaning back against the couch.

"Wow…" I said. I was proud of him for realizing he wasn't living and take control of it. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can see where you're coming from, being upset with me. If I were you I think I'd be upset too after seeing my brother go through that…What made him decide to finish his book?"  
"After all of his antics around town wasted, no one would hire him. Your parents, actually, had him do some handyman type stuff around their house and paid him for the work. Just so he could have an income. When he wasn't doing that he figured he could finally try to publish it. He never expected that someone really would."

"So, why did you move back to Riverdale in the first place?" I asked her.

"I missed my dad. My mom wasn't excited about it at first, but she realized that I was old enough to make my own decisions. I moved back and did my senior year at Riverdale High." She said.

"Where is FP these days?" I asked remembering the rocky relationship that he had with Jughead.

"He opened up a record shop in town, he lives above it since Jug sold the trailer." She said. "I should probably get going." She said standing up. "I have a shift at the record store and then I have some coursework for this online class I'm taking. I'll see you around, Betty." She said uncrossing her legs and standing up. If occurred to be that we may never be close again, but at least right now we had a general understanding of what happened and how to move forward. It was going to take some work, but at least she didn't seem to hate me like she did a few days ago.

"Hey Betty?" she asked as she turned back to face me on the small porch.

"Hm?"

"Just don't break his heart, ok? I know you may not have intended to before…I feel like the old Jug is back for the first time in a while, I don't want to lose him again. Ok?" She asked.

"You have my word." I said giving her a hug. She took a deep breath and was trying to hold back tears.

"Good." She said quietly as she got in her car and drove away.

"How'd it go?" I heard him ask from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"She's still mad, but at least I know why. My parents wanted us to come over for dinner tonight, feel up to it?" I asked him. He inhaled sharply, instantly telling me he was nervous.

"They don't know we're back together yet, they deserve to know." I said trying to convince him.

"Yeah, you're right."

"Dinner is delicious, Mrs. Cooper." Jughead said shoving another bite in his mouth. He'd always had

"We're glad you're here, Jughead. How's your job going, Betty?" I froze at the questions, and Jug choked on his food. He gave a me a look that clearly said _you haven't told them anything?!_

"I quit my job." I said really quietly, mumbling almost.

"I'm sorry?" I heard my dad ask. I took a deep breath when I realized that mumbling my way through it wasn't going to work. Jug reached his foot underneath the table and touched my shin, trying to let me know it was ok.

"I quit my job." I said clearing my throat. "I wasn't happy there, so I decided to move back to Riverdale."

"But you worked so hard for that position at the paper?" My mother asked looking concerned. "Veronica and Archie don't mind you moving in? When are you moving back permanently?"

"I already moved back. Jug and I went to New York a few days ago and packed all of my stuff."

"She's staying with me, Mrs. Cooper." My mother stopped for a moment and looked at us both. I looked at my mother and smiled. The tension in the room was so thick a knife wouldn't even be able to cut it.

"I don't understand." My dad said, breaking his silence from the other end of the table.

"Jughead and I are living together." I said.

"I'm confused." My mother stated plainly.

"I think it's time we finally tell them, Betts." He said looking across the table at me. Fear rose up and gripped me, rendering me almost speechless. My parents loved Polly, and they loved the twins, but they had been so hurt by Polly getting pregnant so young.

"There's something I need to tell you mom…" I said quietly, I had a hard time even looking in my dad's direction. I had always been his little girl, his youngest daughter, the 'perfect' one. This was going to shatter everything he ever thought about me.

I told them everything, starting with the pregnancy and moving to the miscarriage and break up. I told her about my suicide attempt and how I felt like I worked for that job because it was what I was _supposed_ to do. Jughead explained how he had dealt with things, why we broke up, and why he had been drinking. My parents faces throughout the story were stunned. Eventually, I stopped looking up from the food on my plate and played with my mashed potatoes.

"So, when Betty came back, things just clicked. We felt like we needed to try again and see if we're actually meant to be or if we're better off apart." Jughead finished.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant, Betty?" My mom asked looking at me with tear filled eyes. She grabbed my hand on the table and looked at me expectantly.

"Because after what happened with Polly, I didn't want the same thing to happen to me. I didn't want to be sent away and locked up like a criminal." I said. "Besides, I didn't think there was a point in telling you anyway one I'd miscarried."

"Now I understand why the two of you seemed so broken up when it all ended." My dad said, "I'd always had a feeling that there was something more to it than just two teenagers breaking up before college."

"Well, we have an empty desk at the Register if you need a job." My mother said. "It's yours if you want it, Betty."

"Jughead, the next time you impregnate my daughter and don't tell me, I might have to kill you." My father said standing up to take his plate to the kitchen. The look on Jug's face was purely horrified as my dad started laughing.

"I'm just kidding, Jug." He said patting him on the back, "Or am I?" he whispered in his ear before breaking into another round of laughter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm so glad you guys are liking this! I love reading all of your comments! THANK YOU!**

Jug and I had hit a routine. I went to work in the morning at the Register, and he worked on his book while I was gone. When I got home we made dinner together and then spent the rest of the night watching old movies. It was starting to feel like nothing had ever happened. It felt like it was all just a really bad dream that I had finally woken up from. I had never been happier in my entire life. Being around him again had brought me back to life. His sardonic humor and his quick wit had woken me up from the coma I had slowly slipped into over the years.

My parents, on the other hand, seemed to have second thoughts about how understanding they had been at dinner that night. Slowly over the last couple of months, they had stopped speaking to me. My mother would send polite yet terse emails to me at work about what needed to be done, and that was the extent of it. Anytime I tried to bring it up with either of them, they would shut me down immediately.

"Ugh, my editor keeps calling with edits and stuff. I'll be right back." He rolled his eyes as his phone rang. I heard him answer the phone in the living room as I started plating up dinner. When he came back into the kitchen, his face was pale and he looked like he was going to pass out.

"That was JB." He said sitting on a nearby stool.

"What's wrong?" I asked walking over to him. Something had to be wrong for him to look like this so suddenly.

"It's my dad, they think he's having a heart attack. He's being taken by ambulance to the ER. We need to go."

I grabbed his truck keys from the wall and we got into the truck. The entire ride to the hospital was silent. I could tell he had all the possibilities on his mind. He kept flipping his two year sobriety coin between his fingers in nervousness. When we got to the hospital Jellybean was pacing back and forth in the waiting room.

"What happened?" He asked when he found his sister pacing.

"We were finishing inventory and he just slumped down to the floor. He kept saying his arm hurt and he didn't feel well. I panicked." She said tears streaming down her face. "When they got there, he wasn't talking to me anymore, he was passed out or something." I put my hand on JB's shoulder and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I'm just glad you guys are here. I didn't like being here alone." She said sniffing loudly.

"How long does it take to just give you guys an update?" I asked frustrated as we still sat in the waiting room. It had been two hours and no one had any news. I couldn't sit still, it was like that feeling you get when you've had too much coffee. It goes past energy and into an anxious inability to just stay in one place. I was probably pacing a rut in the floor.

"I don't know." Jughead said from his chair in front of me, "JB, did you call mom?" He asked looking at his sister who sat next to him.

"Yeah." She said. "She isn't sure if she can make it."

If this had been any other situation I'd be laughing at how they sat next to each other. They were in the same position. They were slouched down low in the chair with their legs out in front of them. They both had the same look of concern.

"Jones?"

When I turned around I expected to see anyone other than Kevin Keller standing there in a white coat.

"Kevin, please tell me you've got good news." Jughead asked. I stood there in shock that I didn't even know Kevin was a doctor. "He's stable for now, but we need to keep a close eye on him. The heart attack did quite a bit of damage. He's not out of the woods yet. His history of alcoholism doesn't help, his liver isn't doing so well either." He explained. It felt like all three of us took a deep breath at the same time.

"Thanks, Kevin." Jughead said as he patted him on the back and followed Jellybean to FP's room.

"Jughead, I've asked you to call me Dr. Keller. Are you ever going to catch on to that?" He asked sarcastically, in true Kevin form. "Geez, Betty. Didn't even see you there!" He said snapping out of his doctor persona for a minute.

"Hey, Kev." I said hugging him. "You're a doctor? That's not the career I would have seen you going into to be honest." I joked.

"Just a resident right now. It was either be a doctor and do what I wanted, or be Sheriff and do what my dad wanted." He laughed. "I won. I heard you were back in town. Didn't think I'd see you before you left again."

Apparently, I had created a reputation for myself.

"I actually just moved back." I said trying to pretend that it didn't bother me that everyone thought I'd just up and leave again.

"Well then we should hang out or something. I could use some old-fashioned Kevin/Betty time." He said as he walked away. "Let me know if you guys need anything."

* * *

I hated hospitals. I hated the smell, the squeaky floors, the noises, and especially how sometimes people would walk in and never come back out. It was the first time I'd seen FP in eight years. He'd gone completely gray and the wrinkles on his face were more pronounced. He had several leads stuck to his chest and a heart monitor beeping steadily next to him. Jughead was already speaking angrily on the phone with someone when I walked in. I stood awkwardly at the end of the bed as Jug sat in a chair in the corner and JB sat at his bedside.

"No, Morris, I need you to push the deadline out…My dad just had a heart attack for Christ's sake!" He said trying to remain calm. "I don't care if they take the whole advance back, I need more time." He pleaded. "Fine." He said angrily into the phone as he tossed it onto the vinyl couch next to him.

When FP coughed loudly it startled all of us. We all spun and looked at him as he woke up.

"DAD!" Jellybean said hugging him.

"JB, get off of him! He's not in a state to be squished right now." Jughead said annoyed.

"Nah, she's ok Jug." He said his voice sounding weak. He hadn't noticed me still standing oddly in the room, like I didn't fit in. "Betty?" he said squinting at me.

"Hey FP." I said shyly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Jughead never told you? I moved back to Riverdale a couple of months ago." I said looking confused a Jug.

"I hadn't had time to tell you yet, Dad. Sorry." Jughead said not looking up from his phone. "Damnit." He muttered under his breath and he once again took a phone call while walking out of the room.

"What his deal?" FP asked pointing his thumb in Jug's direction.

"The deadline for his next book is in two weeks. He's trying to get it pushed out." JB said waving it off.

"Hmph. So, what have you been up to Betty? It's been a long time! Wish I wasn't in a hospital bed." He said.

"Alright guys! Visiting hours are over!" Kevin said sticking his head in. The upside of working in a small-town hospital must be that he has time to specifically tell us that visiting hours were over.

"Kevin. C'mon." JB said from her chair. "We just got back here to see him like 10 minutes ago!"

"It's Dr. Keller, and I don't make the rules. You can come back bright and early tomorrow morning." He said quickly turning and walking away. JB and I wished FP a good night and met up with Jughead in the hallway.

"Everything ok?" I asked him quietly. He looked angry.

"Can we just go?" He said walking ahead of me.

The ride home was spent in a tense silence as Jughead drove through the streets of Riverdale. He would speed through the straightaways and slam on his brakes at the red lights. The streetlights played across his face as they past, showing the tense and frustrated look that he had.

"Jug what's wrong?" I asked when we finally got home. I was thankful that at least we were in one piece.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said immediately going into his office and slamming the door behind him. The sound of it made me jump slightly. He had seemed upset at the hospital, but whatever happened on the second phone call seemed to have really upset him. I looked at the time on my phone and realized it was almost one in the morning.

I went to bed that night alone with Jughead still shut away in his office. Every once in a while, I could hear him hit something in frustration. I had heard horror stories in college about people living with authors. I remember how I was told how moody and temperamental they could be. Jughead though had never struck me as the type that fit into those stereotypes…until tonight. I chocked it up to the stress of his dad in the hospital and his upcoming deadline before I tried to go to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I got up early. I had spent the night tossing and turning, unable to sink into a good REM cycle. I found him asleep on the couch with his legs hanging off the end, boots still on. I was hoping the smell of coffee, bacon, and eggs would wake him up. Sure enough, a few minutes later he was shuffling into the kitchen still half asleep.

"Food." He said sitting down at the island. "Then coffee."

"I swear, Juggie. You're the only person I know that wants food _before_ their coffee." I smiled at him. I tried to let my worries about his attitude last night go, but I was still concerned.

"Did my phone ring?" He asked looking around for it.

"No, why?"  
"No reason." He said rubbing his face trying to wake up.

"What are you hiding, Jug?" I asked frustrated. I was tired of him not coming clean with me and just telling me what was going on. He looked at me shock for a moment, not sure what to say. That just further confirmed that there was something he wasn't telling me. He took a frustrated sigh as I put a plate in front of him.

"There's a reason I didn't tell my dad that you were back, Betts." He said with bacon in his mouth. "He and I haven't really been on speaking terms for a while now."

"What happened?" I asked sitting down next to him.

"When he found out what my next book was about he asked me not to write it. He tried to pretend that it would be about my reputation, but I knew he was only worried about himself. I told him it was too late to back out and he flipped out on me. He told me I didn't have any loyalty to our family or to the Serpents." He said in between bites of food, "He didn't believe me that I had talked to the guy down at the Worm the day I got the offer. They gave me their blessing. They were excited that they were being written about!" He finished.

"You're writing about the Serpents?" I asked taking a sip of my coffee.

"My publisher says that was something people really found interesting in the first book. Once they found out I was a Serpent myself for a short time, they wanted me to expand on it and make it my second book."

"Everyone already knows what he did. It's not like it's a big secret."

"I guess there's a difference between the small town of Riverdale knowing, and the entire world." He shrugged. "Yesterday was the first time I've seen him since our fight. It just rubbed me the wrong way that he was acting like it didn't happen. I don't want you to think I was trying to hide you from him, I just haven't been in touch with him is all, Betts. I promise." He said taking his last bite of breakfast and downing the coffee next to him. "I'm gonna change, then we can go back to the hospital, ok?"

I smiled at him as he kissed the top of my head.

"Jug! You forgot your phone!" I yelled to him, "Someone's calling you!"

"Answer it!" He yelled back.

"Hello?" I said into the phone, using my best professional voice.

"Betty?" I heard Kevin say. "I thought I called Jughead's phone." He said

"You did, he couldn't answer right now."

"You both need to come down here. FP just had another heart attack. I don't know if he's going to make it."


	7. Chapter 7

The sickening smell of bleach stung my nose as we walked in the front door of the hospital. The bright florescent lights hurt my eyes and the sound of squeaking sneakers resonated sharply in my ears. We went to FP's room from last night, but he wasn't there. The bed was made and the sheets changed.

"Keller!" Jughead yelled as we came out of the room. "Where is he? Did you call Jellybean?"

"We're trying to do what we can, Jughead. I called her just after I called you. She's on her way." Kevin said keeping his voice calm, he really was good at this bedside manner doctor thing. Then again, maybe it's easier when every single patient you have was someone you've known your whole life. "Just wait out here and we will come and get you when we know any news, ok?"

"Yeah." He said sitting down in a chair in frustration. I sat down next to him and rubbed his back as he put his elbows to his knees, and put his head in his hands. "He can't die, Betts. The last conversation we had was a huge argument. I need to apologize to him, talk to him about it." He said, his voice muffled. The thought of having an unspoken apology with his father was weighing heavily on him. It was apparent the day before that FP wasn't holding a grudge. He knew how Jughead could be sometimes. By the time that JB got there, Jug was a complete mess. Jellybean paced back and forth in front of us, while Jughead tried to distract himself by playing Candy Crush on his phone. To be honest, I'd never even seen him play a game on his phone before, but at least it was distracting him momentarily.

I heard footsteps behind me and I glanced to see who it was. Kevin was standing behind me with a pained look on his face.

"Kev?" I asked quietly. Jughead stood up quickly and JB grabbed her brother's arm for support. Kevin looked shaky, like he didn't want to have to say what he was going to.

"No…" JB said, preemptively knowing what news was coming.

"We tried to do everything that…that w-we could." Kevin stuttered, "I'm sorry, but…"

"But what, Keller?" Jug asked trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry Jug…"

"Say it, Keller." Jughead threatened. It sounded like a challenge.

"H-He's gone…" Kevin managed to get out.

Next to me Jughead stood in a stunned silence. JB was crying loudly from behind us and just like that FP was gone. I'd never had a particularly close relationship with him, but he had always been the one telling Jug to do the right thing. He had never wanted his kids to live their lives like he lived his. FP had been the one who told Jug to go back into Archie's house and find me after his birthday party that one year. FP had been the one that, in a twisted way, got my mother to tell me about her history with the Sister of Quiet Mercy. FP had been the one that talked Jug out of being a Serpent and living that life. It had been FP that had always somehow been a voice of reason, telling his kids to make the right choices. He wasn't a perfect father. Everyone knew that. His drinking had been the reason that he split with Jug's mom. It had been FP's fault the family had been ripped in two, but he knew that and had tried to mend things in recent years. He was the one single thread that had run through Riverdale's roots, tying everyone from my parents, to the Blossoms, and Jughead and JB, and now that single thread was gone.

"Ok, if you see him can you please let me know?" I asked, "Thanks."

* * *

Jug had left the hospital that night and hadn't come home. At first, I thought that he was needing to be alone. I thought he was needing time to let FP's death sink in so he could process it. When he didn't come home two days later, I started worrying. I'd been calling everyone I could think of, but no one had seen him. I'd tried calling his phone, but it would just go to voicemail. I had tried reporting him missing to Sherriff Keller, but he used the excuse that maybe Jug needed time alone. I called his phone again, knowing he wouldn't answer. The phone rang twice and went straight to voicemail.

"Juggie. I need you to at least text me that you're ok. I'm worried about you, it's been two days and you're just gone. FP's funeral is tomorrow, at Riverdale Cemetery. It's at ten o'clock. I know that Jellybean is going to need you to be there since your mom can't make it. You need to say your goodbyes, Jug…" I hung up and stared at my phone. It wasn't long before it started ringing.

"Jug!?" I said into the phone without even looking at the caller ID.

"No, it's Joaquin." The voice said on the other end. It took a long time for my brain to reach back in it's vaults and remember the shy Southside Serpent that had fallen for Kevin all those years ago.

"Joaquin?" I said confused.

"I know where Jug is." He said whispering into the phone. "You might want to go down to the Worm."

The moment he mentioned the biker bar on the south side of Riverdale, I had a ball of nerves form itself in my stomach. There was only one thing he'd really be doing there.

I drove to the bar well above the speed limit. One of the perks of a small town, speeding wasn't as closely monitored as it is in major cities. When I pulled up outside, I was just in time to see Jug be thrown through the front door.

"Screw you, Cobra!" He yelled at the man standing in the doorway shaking his head. He was drunk, and god only knows how long he'd been that way.

"Jug." I said disappointed as I walked up to him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked angrily trying to stand up. He smelled like he'd been sleeping in a gutter. His hair was greasy and in his eyes and he was wearing the same clothes from the other day.

"You been here the whole time, huh?" I shot back sarcastically trying to get him up off of the ground.

"Don't touch me!" He yelled as he yanked his arm from my grasp.

"Get in the car." I said coldly as I spun and walked back to the truck. I got in the passenger side and waited for him to get in. There was a line he'd crossed between grief and sheer stupidity. He slowly pulled himself up from the ground and stumbled into the passenger side of the truck. I drove us home without a word. I understood that he was grieving the loss of his father, but that wasn't a good reason to throw away the two years of sobriety that he'd worked for. I was embarrassed. I knew that if JB saw him this way, while trying to deal with her own grief, she'd immediately point the finger at me as the cause.

* * *

When we got back to the house I got out of the truck and walked straight into the house. He stumbled and tripped on his way in.

"I didn't need you to save me, princess." He slurred shutting the door behind him. I could see the outline of him in the dim light of the sunset outside.

"I'm not saving you, asshole. I'm trying to make sure you make it to the funeral tomorrow, so you don't regret missing it for the entire rest of your life. Believe me, I was tempted to just leave you there." I spat back as he fell onto the couch.

"I was right to break-up with you, you could never just let me do what I wanted to do." He mumbled.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Only because you probably won't remember it in the morning when you wake up." I said before stalking off the bedroom. I slammed the bedroom door in anger. I felt it shivering through me like electricity. The audacity he had to speak to me that way when I was only trying to help. I looked at myself in the mirror at the foot of his bed. I hadn't slept well since the night FP passed away. The worry over Jughead's whereabouts had taken its toll on me, just as much physically as mentally. I made a promise to myself that I would do everything I could to make sure this was a one-time thing. I promised myself that I wouldn't stay and be his caretaker if he decided to go down that road. The reality of the situation gripped me suddenly and I started to sob uncontrollably. I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.

* * *

"Get up." I said shaking Jughead on the couch.

"Leave me alone." He said half asleep.

"Nope. Your dad's funeral is in an hour. Get up." I said again.

"Are you deaf?" He asked rudely. I took a deep breath and crossed my arms.

"Jughead. I'm not going to do this with you. It's not my fault you drank away your feelings the last two days. Get off the couch and take a shower." I said trying to keep my voice even. "If I have to call Sheriff Keller and have him throw you in the back of his cruiser, I will. You're going. It's up to you how you get there. You can either go with me in the truck or you can go in handcuffs. Your choice." I said walking away as he sat up, I stopped in my tracks when I hear him start to break down. I turned around and felt my previous frustration fade as I watched him from behind. I walked over to him and knelt down in front of him, putting a hand on the side of his face. He looked up at me with glassy eyes as the tears fell down his cheeks and onto his jeans. He just shook his head unable to speak.

"Juggie." I said pulling his head down to my shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. It seems this was the first time that the weight of everything was hitting him.

"I can't, Betts." He managed to get out between sobs. "I can't do this."

"Yes. You can." I said pulling away and making eye contact with him. I wiped the tears from under his eye with my thumb. "Jellybean is going to need you today. You can do this, Jug."

He reached up and wiped his face with the back of his hand and nodded his head. He slowly got up and started to make his way to the bathroom.

"I've got your clothes laid out on the bed ok?" I said to him as he closed the bathroom door. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that today was about honoring FP and making sure that what was left of the Jones family could be there for each other.

A few minutes later Jughead came out of the bedroom wearing the suit I'd found in his closet. He pulled uncomfortably at the sleeves and smoothed out his shirt.

"I can't ever figure out how to die this damn thing." He said. I walked over to him and started to tie it for him before he caught eye contact with me. "I'm sorry, Betts."

"For what?" I said trying to avoid the issue.

"You know for what." He said quietly looking at me as I finished tying his tie. I cleared my throat and thought of the best way to answer him.

"I'm not going to stand by and watch you fall back down the rabbit hole." I said.

"You won't. I made a mistake, Betty. I didn't call my sponsor when I should have. It won't happen again. You have my word." He said as I grabbed my things.

"Are you ready?" I asked before we left.

"No." He said shakily, "Let's go."

* * *

When we got to the cemetery, there were no cars lining the drive. Instead every available place to park was filled with motorcycles. When we got out of the truck, I could tell Jug was overwhelmed by what was in front of us. Every Southside Serpent had crawled out of the woodwork and formed a corridor for us to walk through. Every single one wearing a black leather jacket, with an emerald green snake sewn on the back. As we walked through, they gave their condolences and shook Jughead's hand. When we got to the end, we could see Jellybean holding a tissue in her hands. Jughead carefully walked up to a podium that had been placed at the head of FP's grave. He pulled a wrinkled paper napkin from his jacket pocket and put it in front of him. He looked at for a minute before he balled it up in his hand started to speak.

"Forsythe Pendleton Jones, II was..." He started as he looked at the casket in front of him. "He was a man that loved his family. Despite all the nights he'd pass out on the couch, the nights he would stay at the worm, and his involvement in the murder that shook this town, he loved his family. He called Jellybean every chance he could to make sure she was ok in Toledo, and he welcomed her with open arms when she decided to come back." His voice cracked as he ran his fingers nervously through his hair. "I'm sorry, Dad." He said as he started to cry. "I'm sorry that I never got to apologize for the things I said that night, and you never got to read the book I've been writing, because it's dedicated to you. It wasn't what you thought it was. It was about a man that may have made mistakes, but owned up to them. It was about a father strong enough to let a foster family take care of his kid while he was in prison. It was about your tenacity and your quest to always protect your family from the world…I promise you that this book only portrays you the way your son saw you. You disappointed me over the years, yes, but you did what you could to make it up to me…and JB…." He paused as he wiped his eyes, "The guys are all here today for us, because you were there for them, and because you took the fall for something you didn't do just to protect them and their families…I can't believe your gone…but you will be missed FP…You'll always be the Serpent that changed this town, Dad." He finished. As he walked away from the podium, the guys started clapping. Then, each member of the Serpents walked by and tossed a handful of dirt on top of the casket and walked back to their bikes. The last in line was a long-haired man, that I recognized from that night at the trailer after the 75th jubilee, he carefully placed FP's leather jacket on top of his casket as it was lowered into the ground.

* * *

 **A/N: I really struggled with this one, I like FP's character. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with it, but for the sake of progression, I had to do it. I tried to do the best I could to explain how I see FP as a character and as a father. I hope you like it!**


	8. Chapter 8

The next two weeks passed by as a monotonous haze. Jug's deadline was in a couple of days and he had kept himself locked away in his office while he typed away furiously trying to finish the book about FP. I knew that finishing the book was going to help with his closure. He had kept his word so far about staying away from the Worm and from alcohol all together. He'd started going back to meetings when he could, and kept his sponsor on speed dial.

Jellybean had taken over the record store and I had been helping her there when I wasn't working at the Register. Any chance I could to spend some time away from my parents was a plus in my book.

"Ok, I think that's the end of it." JB said wiping her hands on her jeans. We had just redone the window display in honor of FP. His old guitar, old photos, and records from several of his favorite bands were carefully arranged to pay homage.

"It looks great, JB." I said smiling at her.

"How is Jug? I keep meaning to ask you. I tried calling a few times but he never calls me back." She asked with disappointment in her voice.

"He's fine. Just locked in his office…typing…all day." I said as I grabbed my jacket and JB locked up the front door.

"Don't let him do that, Betty." She said suddenly.

"Huh?" I asked confused

"That's what he would do before. When you left. He'd lock himself in that stupid office, pretend to be working really hard, but he'd still come out of there drunk. Don't let him fall into that again, B."

Her words struck me like a fist to my chest.

"I should get home." I said quickly as I jogged to my car and drove home.

When I got there, the office door was still closed, and what JB had said was floating around my head. I raised my hand to knock on the door, holding it back for a few moments while I tried to prepare myself to see him passed out at his desk. I knocked quickly and stood back slightly.

"Jug?" I asked through the door.

"What?" I heard him said oddly on the other side of the door, apparently not making any moves to unlock the door.

"I just wanted to talk to you, I haven't seen you for more than twenty minutes in almost two weeks."

"I'm working." He muttered. Quickly losing my patience I yelled through the door.

"Jughead Jones, open the damn door!" I said as I started pounding on it with my fist. I could hear him opening and closing desk drawers before opening the door.

"What?" He asked peeking his head through the crack in the door. Just the look on his face showed all the guilt I needed to see.

"I knew it." I said nodding my head and pushing the door open. I pushed my way past him and started searching the desk drawers for anything to incriminate him. When I got to the bottom drawer it was locked. I pulled at it in frustration before demanding that he unlock it for me.

"Betts, there's nothing in it." He said still trying to avoid me.

"Then you shouldn't have a problem unlocking it, Jug." I said staring him down as he got the key from his pocket and slowly unlocked the drawer. Pulling it out, there in plain sight, was a half full bottle of vodka. I crossed my arms across my chest and looked at him. I felt betrayed, I felt like he'd just stabbed me in the back.

"I told you, Jughead. I wasn't going to do this with you. I'm not going to stick around and watch you stumble through your life as a drunk. I'm not going to watch you make the same mistakes that your dad did." I said seething with anger. I tried to resists the overwhelming urge to clench my hands into fists. I needed an outlet, I needed to relieve myself of my anger.

"Betty, please. It's not like that." He said trying to touch my elbow before I jerked it away from his hand. "Please, Betts." He begged. "It was only to help me sleep. I haven't slept in three days, I just needed to sleep. I swear it was nothing more than that."

"The fact that you think that makes it ok is really messed up." I left the office and made my way to the bedroom, quickly pulling some of my clothes out of the dresser at the foot of the bed.

"Betty. What are you doing?" He asked worried.

"I'm going to stay with Ronnie and Archie, until I can figure something else out." I said pulling a duffle bag out of the closet.

"Betty, please. Don't go. I'm sorry. I…"

"What? What, Jug? I know you're sorry now that I caught you, but I can guarantee you weren't sorry when you were doing it earlier."

"Please. Just don't leave." I stopped my rushing around and looked him in the eye for a moment before going back to refolding the clothes I was going to put in the bag.

"I want to stay with you, Juggie, but I can't do that if you can't keep your promises to me. I want to live in Riverdale, and raise our kids here, and get old with you. But, I'm starting to feel like you're not wanting that." I was so angry I dug my nails into my palms. I felt the familiar sharp pain as my nails broke through the old scars. He glanced down at my hands before he moved closer. I could smell his cologne as he spoke.

"There's nothing else in this world that I want more than to be with you for the rest of my life, Betts. I'm just having…" he paused for moment, he leaned back against his dresser and thought for a moment. "I know he died of a heart attack, but I feel like somehow it was my fault…I keep closing my eyes, and every single time all I see is us arguing over my book and then Keller telling us that he's gone. It keeps me up and I wanted to just sleep so badly, Betty. I know it's not an excuse, and I still made a huge mistake. I'm just in the middle of a rough patch right now, please just stay."

I thought hard for a moment. If I was going to stay, there were going to be rules and if they were broken one more time, I'd leave. I loved him with every single fiber of my being, but I wasn't going to let him get away with this.

"If you want me to stay, there's going to be some ground rules." I started, I almost felt like I was telling a little kid they wouldn't be grounded if they behaved.

"Anything." He said closing the space between us, when he saw what I was doing.

"First, no locked doors. Second, you can only be in that office for two hours a day and you have to leave the door open. Now that your book is done, that shouldn't be a problem. Third, you _will_ tell me where all the alcohol is in this house, and if I feel like you aren't telling me the truth, I _will_ tear this place apart to find it."

He nodded as he came even closer to me, grazing his fingers against the back of my hand.

"Jug." I warned him as I tried to take a step backwards. I dug my fingers even deeper into my palms. That old dormant part of me feeling a release when they started to bleed.

"Betty…" he said taking my hands in his and prying open my palms as I started to cry.

"No, Jughead." I said trying to yank my hands away, trying to ball them into tighter fists than before. It was a showdown, I wasn't going to let him win. I had control over the pain, I didn't want him to take that control away.

"Stop." He said sternly, it quickly becoming evident to me that as he held my wrists, he wasn't the only one who had relapsed.

"NO!" I yelled trying even harder and I felt his hands grip more tightly around my wrists, I started using my entire body to get my hands back, to try and pretend that he'd never seen what I was doing.

"BETTY!" He yelled back as he pulled me towards him in frustration and kissed me. Instantly, the urge to fight against him went away. He'd always had a way of clearing my head, a way of making me forget what I was doing. He knew that. His hold on me slowly loosened as he put his hands on either side of my face. He pushed all of the clothes off the bed and we fell backwards onto it. I lost myself in being near him, temporarily forgetting what had led us to this moment.

* * *

Once I thought he had fallen asleep, I made a beeline for the bathroom and locked the door behind me. My hands ached from what I had done to myself. When I slowly opened my hands I saw the same, small, half circles on my palms that hadn't been there since high school. I had taught myself different ways to deal with things over the years. I hadn't done this in so long the scars had finally started to fade. Arguing with him had triggered something in me, something dark yet familiar. That same dark swirling cloud of energy that had convinced me to attempt suicide all those years ago.

I forced myself to look at the girl in the mirror, to make eye contact with her. Her blond hair was down and past her shoulders, still in curls from two days before. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were splotchy from crying. She held herself as if she was ashamed of who she was. Her normally bright blue eyes looked dull and lackluster.

Pulling my eyes away from my reflection, I carefully put my hands under warm water and washed off the dried blood that had gotten stuck under my nails and tried my best not to cry. I wasn't able to stop it though, I felt tear stinging my eyes just before they started rolling down my cheeks. How could I have left myself be so angry with him that I had undone all the time and effort I'd put into stopping this? I felt like a failure, I had officially failed myself…again.

He knocked softly on the door as I was slumped over the sink.

"Are you ok?" He asked quietly through the solid wood door between us.

"I'm fine, Juggie." I said trying to make my voice sound as normal as I could, but he knew me too well.

"Betty, unlock the door." He said as he rattled the old door handle. I dried my hands and quickly wiped my face in the mirror before unlocking the door. The second he could, he put his arms around me and held me to him. He pulled me back to bed and tucked me in. He wrapped both arms around me before he broke the night's silence.

"Are your hands ok?" He asked quietly

I silently nodded my head.

"I didn't know you still did that, Betts." He said concerned.

"I don't." I said frustrated.

"Then…-" he started before I cut him off.

"Because of you!" I said pushing him way from me and hit my fists against his chest. He laid there and took it, understanding that I needed to get it out of my system. He didn't say anything, and he didn't try to stop me. When I had exhausted myself, I pulled my hands up to my face and let out a frustrated scream. How dare he cause me to feel this way, how dare he frustrate me like this. _How dare I let myself fall in love with him again._ I thought momentarily spiraling out of control. He reached out and tried to pull my hands away from my face.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled at him, I instantly regretted it and started to feel like I was on a roller-coaster I couldn't get off of. "I'm so sorry, Juggie. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me."

"It's ok, Betts. You have every right to be angry with me. You don't have to pretend like everything is ok. We're not our parents. We don't have to sweep things under the rug just because they're upsetting. I know you feel let down, Betty" He paused, choking up. "I know because I felt the same way every single time my dad did it to me."

Something about him saying that made me feel better. Of course, he knew how it felt, why didn't I think of that. It still didn't make it ok, and it still upset me that he'd been drinking, but I had to let him try to make it up to me.

"I guess we're both kind of broken." He said pulling me towards him and putting his chin on the top of my head.

"We should get matching t-shirts." I said trying to make a joke.

"We should do that." He said while rubbing my head as I finally drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is from Jughead's POV. I wanted to get inside his head and see the situations from his point of view for a little change, I hope you like it!**

* * *

I had come to terms with the way my life had turned out. At seventeen I walked away from the love of my life, hoping to make hers better. I had thought that was what she would want. I had thought that I was trying to do her a favor. I had thought that she would think back years later and thank me for letting her go. I had thought wrong. Instead I felt like I'd let her down.

The day after she left, I used the ladder hidden in the bushes outside her bedroom window. I had taken the grey crown beanie off my head and placed it on a bed post at the foot of her bed. I had hoped that if she came back someday she'd have a reason to find me. She knew that I was never seen without the stupid thing, I knew the person that she was. She would try to return it to me, and maybe I'd have a chance to apologize for my behavior. The first time Archie saw me without it he had looked at me weird the whole time. The kind of look that makes you feel like you've grown a third eye in the middle of my forehead. He never asked me about it though, he seemed to know, however; that I was trying to just rid myself of everything that reminded me of her.

After that, I did everything I could to pretend I had never met Betty Cooper. I found one of her jackets in my closet at the trailer when I was packing and moving out. I found that black plaid shirt she'd borrowed and I never realized she'd given back. I found a pair of her earrings in my bathroom, and a tube of her lipstick in my bedroom. I stopped working on the novel I'd been writing. Even looking at my laptop that we'd used for research all those years, was too hard. It felt like a death. Whether I was mourning the loss of our child or the loss of her may never be known, even to me, maybe it was both. Our lives had been so tangled and carefully basket weaved together that the only way to undo it was to cut us down the middle.

Staying sober had been what pushed me to finally finish the book about the Blossom murder. Once a publisher picked it up I took my advance and moved into a small house on the outer edge of the north side of town. It was what I needed at the time, a quiet place away from the prying eyes of Riverdale where I could concentrate on putting myself back together.

Then, out of nowhere, the hurricane that is Betty Cooper rolled back into town. In the three months since her return, we finally talked about all those uncomfortable topics that we'd avoided. We talked about the loss of what could have been a beautiful little eight-year-old child. We talked about how we both tried to deal with the loss of each other and that is what led us to this moment. We weren't ready for this, even though we were older, I wasn't sure that we were ready for this. I wasn't sure that we were ready to be standing here the way we were staring at a small white stick in the bathroom.

Betty paced nervously next to me, wringing her hands and trying to breathe. I leaned against the bathroom sink with my arms cross tightly across my chest. I wondered about how we'd ended up back here again, despite how careful we'd been. Despite being eight years older, and having the money to take care of myself and Betty, I was still nervous. I knew we both needed it to be negative, we were still trying to mend our relationship from the first time this happened. I didn't want this to tear us apart all over again. Still though, there was a small part of me that wanted it to be positive. There was a small part of my heart that wanted to see a little tiny Betty running around the house. There was a part of me that really wanted that.

"I can't look." She said as the timer on her phone went off.

"Me either." I said honestly looking at her.

"At least you're here, I didn't like doing this alone the first time." She said picking it up with shaky hands. She looked down at it, and took a deep breath before she handed it to me. One small pink line.

"I have no idea what that means, Betts." I said honestly.

"It's negative, Juggie." She said smiling. I nodded my head and stared at it for a minute. "Jug…are you disappointed?" She asked me in an almost teasing voice as she narrowed her eyes.

"No, not at all. There's no way we can handle that right now. I'm fine, Betts." I said handing it back to her and walking out of the small bathroom. I took a deep breath and started pulling my boots on. Archie and Veronica had invited us over to dinner. It was the first time we were actually leaving the house as a couple and going somewhere…as a couple. Betty sat down next to me on the couch and kissed me on the cheek.

"It's ok, Juggie. You don't need to pretend you're not disappointed." She said smiling at me, "I'm a little disappointed too." She said before standing up and grabbing her bag. "Let's go. I have a feeling V won't be happy if we're late."

* * *

A few hours later and dinner was done. We were sitting around the old dinner table pouring over old yearbooks and wondering what happened to some of the other people we'd gone to school with.

"I actually ran into Reggie in New York one time." Betty said trying not to laugh, "he's quite the hipster now."

"Reggie, Reggie?" Archie asked completely confused.

"Reggie, Reggie." She laughed out loud, "He had the cuffed jeans, button down, long hair, and even the beard. It was so strange. I guess he owns a restaurant up there now."

"Wow." I said slowly. The thought of Reggie with a beard was the hilarious. He'd always been the clean-cut football quarterback.

"Josie is working as a producer in LA, the last I heard. She and the Pussycats still do some small gigs around town. We're friends on Facebook." Veronica said as she flipped through our senior yearbook. Towards the back there were candid pictures of seniors. There literally in black and white was a picture of Betty and I. We were sitting on the bleachers looking like the antithesis of a typical high school couple. She sat there with her hair pulled back in her River Vixens uniform, and I sat with my arm around her shoulders wearing ripped jeans, black jacket, and the old crown beanie that never left my head. She had her hands on my arm under her chin, and I had my head bent down and pressed against hers. We were smiling like we didn't have a care in the world.

"Wow, we looked like an odd couple, didn't we?" Betty said looking closely at the picture.

"Yeah we did." I joked next to her. "But not any weirder than those two." I said pointing to a picture of Archie and Veronica after a football game. Archie was in his football uniform while Veronica was in her River Vixen uniform. It looked like it was after the game since he was covered in mud and his hair was sticking up all over. He had his helmet in his hand and the other arm around Veronica.

"Ha! They're so boring looking." She joked as Veronica snatched the yearbook away and looked for herself.

"Hey!" She said loudly laughing with Freddie in her lap. She pointed to the picture of them and Freddie put both small hands down onto the page. He giggled loudly and exposed the two small teeth he had on the top of his mouth. She pointed to the picture again and he started pointing to, still not sure what he was pointing at, but he was having fun.

"Jug?" Betty asked as I came back to.

"Huh?" I said, not sure what I had just missed.

"Didn't you say you heard something about Chuck?" Archie asked again.

"Oh yeah, I ran into him at my book release party last year. Still not sure why he was there. I guess he's a sports announcer now, got injured playing in college I think."

"It's crazy how things change over time." Veronica said shaking her head. "Hey, Jug, your birthday is coming up, isn't it?"

"No comment." I said putting my hands up in front of me and leaning back in my chair.

"Aw, Juggie! C'mon! It's your first birthday since I've been back! We need to have a party. We can get the whole gang together!" Betty begged as she gave me puppy dog eyes. She knew I had a hard time resisting those, I tried my best to not look her in the eye.

"Do you remember the last time you tried to get the 'whole gang' together for my birthday?" I asked with air quotes as I crossed my arms and looked at her sarcastically.

"Sure, I do. It was so awesome you got a tattoo to commemorate it." She threw back trying not to laugh.

"No, the tattoo was about you, not the birthday party from hell. You know that. I didn't want a party then, I _really_ don't want one now." I said shaking my head and looking at Archie for help, but he had the same mischievous look that Betty did. "You guys are doing this whether I want you to or not, aren't you?" I asked giving up.

Maybe it would be a chance to learn to like my birthday for once in my life, a fresh start. I still had to make one last ditch effort to stop it. "They still do double features at the movie theatre you know. We could just go to that."

"Nope. Don't try to get out of this Jones." Veronica said shaking her head smiling. "We're doing this!"

"Someone save me." I said under my breath as I put my head in my hands and laughed to myself.


	10. Chapter 10

October 2, 2001, the day I was born. I had my reasons for not liking my birthday. Jones family birthdays aren't like birthdays for everyone else. Growing up, my parents took a birthday as a day to pretend we didn't have any problems. my dad pretended he didn't drink and my mom pretended she still loved him. JB pretended our family was like the ones on TV, and I pretended I didn't know them. This is my 26th birthday and I've had exactly one birthday party. That one birthday party was the year Betty and I first started dating our sophomore year of high school. We'd had a huge argument, and the night ended with me punching Chuck in the face.

In a matter of hours, the whole gang would be here. Of course, I knew that Veronica, Archie, and Betty would be there. I didn't know how many other people Veronica had invited. I know how she is, she likes to do things big, fancy, and loud. She likes to make a statement. I don't know what possessed me to ok something like this.

As I got out of the shower I looked in the bathroom mirror. The small crown tattoo on my chest only served to remind me even more of how badly tonight could go.

 _"In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this hat? That's weird."_ I remembered saying. _"I'm not one of your projects, Betty! Are you just slumming it with me until Archie changes his mind?"_

I shook the memories from my head and tried to pretend that I'd never said those things. I leaned forward and put my hands on the sink.

 _"There's a darkness in me, Juggie."_ Betty had said showing me her palms for the first time. I remembered that seeing her small moon shaped scars for the first time worried me. It worried me that maybe she wasn't as ok as she said she was. It reminded me why the other night when I tried to get her to stop she was so resistant. It had to have taken a lot of guts to show me that she'd been hurting herself.

She'd been called 'perfect' her entire life. Her parents and even people she'd never met assumed that she and her sister Polly were perfect. When Polly got pregnant, everyone shifted their attention to Betty. They told her she was the perfect daughter. A cheerleader, a writer, good grades, and then there was me. I was the boyfriend from the wrong side of the tracks.

"Juggie!" I heard her say as she pounded on the bathroom door. "Hurry up! Veronica is here to help set up!"

"I'll be right out!" I yelled back. I looked back up at the mirror one last time. "Here we go." I said one last time to myself.

* * *

Three hours later and the party was in full swing. Somehow Veronica had managed to get almost everyone I ever spoken to at Riverdale High, and even some that I didn't. Josie and Val had flown in from LA, Reggie and his beard had driven down from New York. Chuck flew in from Chicago, though his presence still made me nervous. I didn't want a repeat of last time. Kevin and Joaquin came together, which shocked Betty. I had forgotten to tell her that they were living together now. Cheryl was sitting on my couch drinking a wine glass full of water while she chatted up Chuck. Some people never change. She had one leg up on the couch, and her other leg thrown across her knee. This was starting to feel more like a high school reunion than my birthday. Maybe that's a good thing.

"Jug!" I heard a familiar voice say. When I turned around I saw JB.

"Hey, JB." I said nervously.

"I was so excited when Veronica told me that you were having a party!"

"This was not my idea, Jellybean. You know me better than that." She laughed out loud.

"Relax, Jughead. Enjoy yourself a little, ok? Your friends care about you. They just want to celebrate you being you." She said patting me on the back.

"Still messed up about your last birthday party, Jones?" Reggie said putting a hand on my shoulder. "I gotta admit, it was certainly memorable."

"Very funny, Reggie." I said needing fresh air. I made a beeline outside and heard my ears ringing from the loud music that was being played inside. I sat down in a deck chair on the back porch and looked out at the obstructed lake view. I could see the river flowing, sparkling with the sun's reflection as it moved through the trees. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Juggie?" I heard her ask, "Is everything ok?"

I put my head back against the chair before I spoke. "Yeah. Just needed a minute."

Betty came over and sat down in my lap and put a hand on my neck.

"I can make everyone go home if you want, Jug." She said leaning back against me and putting her head on my shoulder.

"It's ok, Betts. I saw you in there, you've been lit up like a Christmas tree since everyone got here." I said understanding that this may be my party, but Betty was getting to see everyone for the first time since in years. I smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. I put one arm around her waist and the other on her thigh as she sat there leaned against me. The entire house could blow up behind me and I wouldn't care as long as Betty was here with me, just like this. Where I could feel her breathing steadily against my chest, and I could smell the coconut in her shampoo.

"Hey lovebirds! Time for cake! Get your ass in here Jug!" Archie said opening the back door and yelling at us. My perfect moment with Betty shattered as she pulled herself up and held a hand out towards me.

"Ready?" She asked.

"As long as you don't sing that creepy haunting version of happy birthday again." I joked back at her as she pulled me up from the chair.

"Ha. Ha. You're _so_ funny." She said sarcastically, leading the way into the kitchen. Sitting on the counter was a cake in the shape of a cheeseburger. I shook my head and laughed. I ate so many burgers, my birthday cake was now one too. What was my life coming to? Archie led the whole room in chanting my name over and over again as Veronica lit the candles in front of me. Betty had never looked more beautiful than she did right in that moment. The candlelight danced back and forth across her face and it felt like her smile was just for me. It was like I was the only one allowed to see her that way.

"Blow those candles out, Jug!" Cheryl said clapping her hands in front of her, trying not to squeal.

I took one last look at Betty across from me and didn't take my eyes off of her while I blew them out in one go.

* * *

When the party was over I'd had enough of just staring at how beautiful she was. She had her long blond hair down and tossed over her shoulders in perfect curls. She had a short, purple, cotton dress, and black heels that only made her legs look a mile long. I had spent the entire second half of the party lusting after her, wanting to lock her away in our bedroom and do what I wanted.

"Please tell me everyone is gone…" I said into her neck when I came up behind her. I snaked my arms around her waist and turned her to face me.

"What are you trying to say, Jug?" She teased locking her hands behind my neck.

"I'm saying you look incredible right now." I could feel the goosebumps form on her skin as I whispered in her ear.

"Juggie" she whispered back looking me in the eye.

I closed to space between us and the wall, pressing her against it as I finally got to kiss her for the first time that night.

Her fingers grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up over my head just before I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. She ran her fingers up into my hair and her other hand dug into my back. I didn't feel like I had control of my body the further we went. By the time the she undid my belt, I pulled her away from the wall and carried her back to the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind me.

* * *

She stretched out in bed next to me with a satisfied smile on her face.

"What got into you, Juggie?" She laughed, out of breath.

"You…walking around looking the way you did." I said laughing and looking at her.

"How is that?" She asked

"Like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I said putting my hand to her cheek. "Besides, it's my birthday, there has to be perks to that right?" I joked as she put her head on my chest.

"Mmhm. Perks." She said as she sighed contentedly.

That moment was when it hit me. The moment she had that sheet wrapped haphazardly around her, the way she had her leg thrown over top of one of mine. The moment when all I could smell was her. The moment when she put her head on my chest and I knew she could hear my heart racing. When she pulled her arm up under her chin and snuggled up to me. The way if felt to just be that with her and how I never wanted it to end. That single solitary moment in time is when I realized that I needed Betty in my life. I wasn't going to ever walk away from her again, no matter what.

* * *

The next day I slid into a booth at Pop's and Archie situated himself in his seat across from me. Pop didn't even take our order, simply bringing the usual that we always ordered. Two double chocolate shakes and two double cheeseburgers. The way people ate at Pop's in this town it's a wonder why we aren't all three hundred pounds.

"What's up, Jug?" he asked looking at me across the table as he took a huge bite of his burger.

"I need your help." I said, I could feel my palms sweating as I rubbed them off on my jeans.

"With what?"

I took a deep breath. I knew this is what I wanted. If I was this nervous asking Archie for help, how nervous was I going to be when I asked her?

"I want to…" I started, it was strange to say it out loud. It had been a thought rolling around my head for so long it was hard to verbalize.

"Jug, you're pale as a ghost. You sure you feel ok?" He asked

"I'm fine." I said trying to get him to shut up. "I want to propose to Betty." I finally said. Instantly, Archie's face changed as a knowing smile cracked across his face.

"Ahhh. I thought it must have been something big for you to tell me to meet you at Pop's. Usually you just come over without even calling first." He joked.

"Yeah." I said realizing I'd been holding my breath.

"Why do you need my help?" He asked

"You've done this, Arch. I have no idea what I'm doing." I said taking a huge bite of my burger.

"You know I failed horribly, right?" Archie said looking at me.

"No? Wait, what? You did?" I asked taking a double look at him. "Now I need to hear the whole story."

"I got us reservations at this insanely fancy restaurant the next town over. We get there, and the entire menu is in another language. I'm still not even sure what it was. So, we thought we'd used Google Translate enough to decide what we wanted and the food comes. We get about three bites into dinner and Ronnie starts telling me something isn't right. Turns out they put clams in her soup and she was allergic to shellfish." Archie started, I shook my head and tried not to burst into laughter. I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

"Oh, it gets better. So, we end up at the hospital because she went to anaphylaxis. We were finally taken out of the ER and up to a room for the night. They were keeping her for twenty-four hours just to make sure she was ok. I decide 'I have the ring, might as well ask her here.' I got her to stand up and I proposed." He stopped and laughed to himself. "She was so mad at me for doing it in the hospital that she said no at first! She finally said yes, a week later. Still sure you want my help?"

"Still sure." I said finishing off my burger.

"Did you get a ring yet?" He asked

"Not yet."

"Well, that's the first step." Archie said smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

I sat on the edge of our bed and studied the small peach colored box in my hands. It had taken two weeks to find it. I had gone to every single jewelry store in not only Riverdale but Greendale too. I opened it up several times to stare at the round cut solitaire diamond set on a rose gold band with two simple white gold vines snaked their way down the band. It was simple, but I had known it was the one when I saw it. Now, I just had to figure out how and when.

Suddenly I heard Betty unlocking the front door. I quickly stood up and shoved the ring box into my sock drawer and walked out of the room to meet her. She looked upset.

"What's wrong, Betts?" I said shoving my hands in my pockets.

"UGH!" She said as she tried to take off her sweater on the hallway.

"Betts?" I asked again, not sure that she heard me. She finally freed her arm from the tangled sweater and threw it on the floor in frustration.

"My parents are ridiculous! They want us at dinner tonight." She said crossing her arms.

"Ok…" I said walking up slowly to her. I could tell there was something else that was bothering her. "…and?"

"..and…" she paused avoiding looking at me. It had to be something bad for her to be quite this upset. "I went to the doctor today."

"Ok." I said slightly confused. "I didn't know you were sick."

"I was still not feeling very good and it turns out…" She paused teary eyed, "Turns out I am pregnant." She finally got out.

"That test was negative." I said still confused.

"The doctor did another test and it was positive. I don't know what happened it the other one, could have been too soon I guess." She shrugged as she pulled her arms tighter around herself.

"Why do you look like that's a bad thing?" I asked her pulling her towards me and wrapping her in a hug.

"It didn't go so well for us last time." She said sniffling. "I don't want history might repeat itself."

"We were a lot younger last time, Betts." I said rubbing her back with my chin on the top of her head.

"That doesn't make me any less scared. What if I have another miscarriage?"

"Don't think about that. We will cross that bridge if we have to."

"My mom called just as I was leaving the doctor's. She insisted that we be there for dinner tonight. She wouldn't even tell me why. Probably because she wants to yell at me."

"We'll be there. If she's going to try and yell at me for what happened that long ago, it won't go well. Trust me." I said pulling away from Betty. She looked up at me with wet eyes. "Seriously, Betty. It's going to be ok."

She nodded her head silently and went to get ready for dinner.

* * *

There we were. Sitting around the Cooper dinner table with two Cooper parents that seemed shockingly upset about something.

"Can I just ask a question?" I said as I got sick of the pained silence in the room. "Why exactly are we here?"

"I was hoping we could wait until desert, but I guess it'll have to come out sometimes." Alice said as she put down her fork and folded her hands in her lap.

"Mom? What's going on?" Betty asked confused.

"Your mother and I are getting a divorce." Hal said from his end of the table.

"WHAT?!" Betty and I said together, not meaning to be in unison.

"Your father and I have decided that we're just not happy together anymore. There was some news that your father found out about and he doesn't wish to work through it." She said her hands still in her lap.

"It's not that I don't want to work through it, Alice, it's that you lied to me for twenty-two years." Hal said trying to remain calm.

"Uh…what?" Betty asked again really confused. "Why isn't Polly here? Wouldn't she need to know too?"

"Polly already knows, Betty." She said brushing her off. "I didn't lie to you, Hal. I just didn't tell you. There's a difference." Alice continued.

"You don't think it's important to tell me about a child that you had that wasn't mine?" Hal said furiously cutting through his pot roast. Betty and I looked at each other with wide eyes and the truth started spilling out of their mouths.

"I'm sure FP would be so happy to hear that he finally got his way." He continued.

"Wait, what does my dad have to do with this?" I asked looking between the two of them.

"Remember that brother that your mother told you about? Apparently your mother forgot to tell me that he wasn't mine.." Hal said disgusted. I felt my throat dry out and my stomach dropped to my feet. I stared at Betty confused.

"Mom, is he in Riverdale?" She asked. I could tell there was a part of her that wanted to meet this mysterious older brother. She had ever since her mother first told her about her pregnancy back in high school. "Wait, the fight that FP saw…he knew it was his and he let you tell Dad anyway?"

"Yes, he is." She said curtly. "I didn't know until recently that he was in town. I had always thought he'd been adopted."

"What's his name? Who is he? Do I know him?" Betty asked rapid fire.

"His name is Joaquin." She said quietly.

"Wait, Joaquin DeSantos?" I asked.

"Oh my god." Betty said as it clicked in her head that she'd known her own brother for most of high school. He'd left for a short time after my dad went to jail, but Kevin had convinced him to come back. He had quickly become part of our inner circle. Now that I thought about it, he did have the classic jones dark hair and blue eyes. He was even a Serpent. Suddenly, all of the things I knew about him started to fall into place.

"Does he know?" I asked Alice.

"He's always known. FP apparently took him under his wing as soon as he found him. Kept things quiet and made sure he had what he needed." She replied.

What about me and Jellybean? What about what we had needed over the years? All we got was man so drunk he couldn't remember his own name sometimes. Why had he taken such good care of him, made him felt like he mattered. I felt anger pulse through my veins. Instantly wishing that FP was still here so I could yell at him and get the answers I needed. I needed to find Joaquin. I needed to know what FP had told him all these years. I got up from the table and made my way outside. I needed fresh air, and honestly, I felt like I needed a drink too, but Betty needed me and I couldn't do that. I sat down on the familiar stairs outside the Cooper house and tried to comprehend what just happened. Not only did Betty find out who her mystery brother was after all these years, I had an older brother too. I heard Betty come outside behind me and she sat down on the snowy steps next to me.

"Wow." She said staring into the distance. "That's not what I was expecting. I'm not even sure I'm that upset their getting a divorce. I'm just in shock that my mom lied to my dad like that for so long."

"She lied to a lot of people for this long."

"I did not get out of bed this morning thinking this was how today was going to go." She said putting her head against my shoulder. "You ok?" She asked looking at me.

"Yeah. Why?" I said looking down at her.

"I'm knocked up and you found out you have an older brother and Alice Cooper could technically be your step mom. Are you ok?" She said smiling up at me. I started laughing at the statement she made.

"I'm fine, Betts. My family is so screwed up, there had to be another weird limb of the family tree somewhere." I said to her. "That doesn't mean that I'm not furious with FP for never telling me the truth. I have a hard time being angry with Joaquin though. He knew sure, but if he had said anything the civil war in Riverdale would have started all over again." I thought for a minute before I said anything else. "At least we know that our kid won't have to deal with stuff life this." It was the first time I'd said it out loud. It had surprised me. It was starting to set in that we were going back down this road again. Things were different this time. We were older, we had careers, we had a house, we weren't in high school. Despite my telling Betty that things were going to be ok, I still had an inkling of doubt in the back of my head.

"Promise me something, Juggie." She said lifting her head up off of my shoulder and pulling my face to look at her.

"Anything…" I said quietly to her.

"Promise me you aren't going to get scared this time…"

"I'm already scared, Betts…" I said smiling at her "…But I'm not going to run away this time, I can promise you that."

She nodded slowly and put her head back on my shoulder.

"Did the doctor say how far along you were?" I asked

"Just a few weeks, about a month." She shrugged absentmindedly rubbing her hand over her stomach.

"Hmm." I said back as we sat there in a comfortable silence until the sun went down and the moon was high overhead.

* * *

"Did you ask her yet?" Archie asked me the next day as I sat on his back porch. Betty and Veronica went shopping for the day and I took the opportunity to get out of the house.

"There's been…some complications." I replied slouching down in my chair and watching Freddie run around his swing set in the back yard.

"Uh-Oh." He said joking.

"Remember how Betty had a brother? That none of us had ever met?"

"Yeah." He said leaning in.

"Her parents invited us over for dinner the other night and told us they're getting a divorce."

"Ouch." Archie said.

"Oh, it gets better." I replied holding my hand up. "Alice never told Hal that he wasn't the father of said brother."

Archie sat there in stunned silence.

"It's Joaquin." I said looking at him.

"Joaquin? Kevin's Joaquin?" He asked making sure he heard it right.

"One in the same, Arch."

"So, who is the father?"

"Take one guess. We're related."

"FP? Wait, FP is Joaquin's dad and Alice Cooper is his mother. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I can't imagine going through my life raising Freddie and then finding out he wasn't even mine."

"There's more." I said.

"Jesus Christ, Jug. There's more?"

"Yeah." I said running my fingers through my hair. "Betty's pregnant."

"Congrats, Jug!" He said slapping me on the back.

"Yeah." I said looking down at my shoes.

"Why don't you seem all that excited?"

"I'm just nervous. The last time Betty was pregnant, things ended badly. I don't want to lose her again. What if I somehow end up a drunk exactly like my dad? What if Betty take the kid away and moves to Toledo like my mom did with JB? What if-"  
"Those are normal thoughts, Jug." Archie said. "Veronica and I had only been married a little over a year when we found out she was gonna have Freddie. I didn't sleep for the next nine months. After she had him, I didn't sleep because I was afraid something would happen to him. It's worth the worry, Jug. You worry because you care, because you love Betty."

"I guess."

"Trust me, you're not going through anything that isn't normal. You and Betty are meant to be. The stuff with her parents can't be helped, but don't let that ruin this time for you guys. Ha, our kids are gonna be in high school at the same time." He laughed.

"Scooby Gang part two." I joked back.


End file.
